Who are you?

    Sometimes I can say things that can make an entire room feel uncomfortable.  Whether the discussion is about marriage, kids, work, money, politics or sports.  I tend to not shy away from topics that others run far away from.  I don't know why I am like this, but it's who God made me.  I won't apologize for making you feel uncomfortable.  I won't apologize for making you think and I will not apologize for holding you accountable.  You see, the word calls us to help each other.  My strength may be different then yours.  There are a lot of things I need help with.  I go to the Doc because I have no idea what medicines will help me feel better when I'm sick, and I take my car to a mechanic when my car is having issues and I call a plumber when my pipes spring a leak.  I do this because I am no expert in these fields.  We are all called to a different calling in the Kingdom.  I can't teach a class of kindergartners, I can't fix my car engine, I can't preform surgery, and I can't defend myself in a court of law.  But what I can do is be whom God has called me to be.  So who are you?  What is your role in the Kingdom?  We are all called to do something.  

  I have been studying the book of Job and I am amazed by how Job answered his buddies when Job lost everything.  I am amazed by his response to God and his praises to God when Job lost everything.  I am no Job.  I don't think I could lose everything and still give thanks to God.  I just have to be honest. I would like to think I'd respond the same way Job did, but I haven't had my feet placed to the fire like Job did. I am no King David, or Peter, or Paul.  I am no Joseph, or Moses, or Abraham.  I am Jimmy Clouse.  God made me and He knows the plans He has for me.  God knows you too.  But do you know who you are?  I do.  You're a child of God.  God loves you.  It's true.  That's what the Bible says.  So I leave you with this last question.  Who are you? 

In Him, 

Clouse

Parents just don't understand......

   I love the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff.  I could sing, and probably still can, every song they made.  One of the first songs I memorized was "Parents just don't understand."  Pure greatness.  At least from a teenagers point of view.  Now that I am a 30-something, that song still makes me smile.  But there is something to be said about parents.  Parents are the first line of defense against a world, that for all practical purposes, sucks.  I mean, come on.  How many times have you heard the phrase or have said the phrase, "Life's not fair!"?  Be honest.  Maybe it was a business deal gone bad, a family member or a favorite pet died.  Maybe you lost money, ran out of gas, lost best friends.  Parents are our first taste of life.  They should be the ones to introduce us to the harsh realities of life in a controlled environment.  If you were blessed to have parents like that, I am thankful for that.  But if you were like me, you were introduced the harshness of life within the walls of your childhood home whether you were abused, beaten, lied to, yelled at, bullied, etc. God only gave us one mom and one dad.  Regardless if we know our mom and dad or not, we still have only one mom and dad.  God blessed me by getting me out of a house, a city, and a state where I was ruining my life and running myself in the ground.  Probably 6 feet deep in the ground to be exact.

  As for me and my parental units, my dad is dead and I have a very, very strained relationship with my mom.  I'm pretty bad about keeping in touch with my aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I am pretty close to one cousin and pretty close to one aunt and her family.  I believe in the idea of family, but have never experienced what that really meant.  If you happen to be a family member of mine and you're reading this, I'll at least text you one day, i think.  I don't really like talking on the phone, and a blog lets me only share what I want to share.  It's a win-win for me because I'll never know if you read this and I only let the world know what I want it to know.  It's just a sense of control you can say.  I have family who love me and would help me if I asked, but I just don't have a relationship with them.  God has blessed me with an amazing wife and two beautiful children.  I plan to foster a great relationship with them and my prayer is that they will not see certain family members as a burden as I do when they grow up.  Remember to be nice to your kids because they will be the ones to decide which nursing home you will go to.  I hope that my kids love me enough not to send me to a government run nursing home.

  My sexy wife has a great relationship with her family and her family is very close.  I find that odd and something I strongly desire at times.  I often wish we lived closer to my wife's family because I know that would make her and my kids happy, but in our current position, we can't.  I have always told myself that family is what you make of it.  In the military I was able to make other military members family.  Here, in Texas, I have been able to make a few friends family.  Is family really that important?  I question that often.  There are times when I am a Lone Ranger at work, or at the gym, at church, or in group settings.  Sometimes I feel like I have to be the best at what I do as if I have to prove something to someone.  But to who?  I don't really care about the opinions of well, mostly everyone.  Is that so wrong?  What does the bible say about these feelings?  There are many examples of family going their separate ways and verses that tell me to work as though I am working unto the Lord.  I'm sharing this because I don't think I am the only one out there with these feelings.  How do I know?  Well the bible of course,  The bible says in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun.  Jimmy's translation....someone else felt the same you feel.

  Do you have an internal battle with these issues or is it just me?  I have been truly blessed in my life so far and I have plenty of room for improvement.  I guess my first step to improving myself is to not drink so much Starbucks coffee and to stop falling in love with Paula Deen.  Because who doesn't love bacon?

In Him,
Jimmy

Nothing will make a grown man cry quicker....

   Jurnee has successfully completed 5 full days of kindergarten.  She started last Wednesday and I have to be honest here, my eyes got filled with tears when we dropped her off that first.  I blame allergies.  At least that is what I told Miriam that, who happened NOT to fall for that.  It was strange because Jurnee was in preschool last year for 4 days a week, but dropping her off at Kindergarten seemed completely different.  She was walking though the same doors as the "bigger" kids.  She didn't want me to walk with her to the door on the second day because she is now a "big girl."  Boom!  What was that that just hit me in my chest? Was that the elusive heart that my lovely bride tells me I don't have?  I think it was. Now listen, I have served in the military,  I have been to the desert, I have been randomly shot at (at least I think it was random), I have been strong when others have been weak.  I have been the first to volunteer for difficult tasks and the last to leave.  But nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, took me down more then hearing those words leave the mouth of my little princess.  I have been outnumbered in fights and still that seemed easier then letting go of my little girls hand to watch her walk through her classroom door.

   God is an amazing God.  He knew that I needed a daughter to soften this beating thing in my chest that keeps me alive.  God knew what he was doing when he brought me and Miriam together.  I am not a perfect man, but I serve a perfect God.  I need to remind myself everyday that it's not the days in my life that will matter when I die, but what I do in those days that will matter.  I need to take advantage of the time I have now with Jurnee because it won't be like this for long.

In Him

In search of a dad.

To those who grew up without a dad, or a dad who happened to be there but not.  

 After my dad died I have probably been in search of a father figure.  He died at the age of 43 and I was 20, and the last time I saw him I was 18.  My dad was was abusive, both verbally and physically, an alcoholic and tended to do quite a bit of traveling when I was growing up.  One year he traveled over 75% of that year.  I am not trying to make this a pity party, because it's not, but I know that many of you have probably struggled with this same issue.  If not, then praise God!  I was fortunate to be part of Boy Scouts and surrounded by Godly men whom I was able to look up to and gain valuable wisdom and knowledge from while in pursuit of my Eagle Scout.  I was also part of an awesome church youth group in which I was surrounded by friends that were able to help me get through those rough teenage years.  But I also learned from a very young age to be guarded.  I learned to only let people know what you wanted them to know.  I slip up every now and get  burned by the "gossip grapevine" which then reminds me why I remained guarded in the first place. 

  My dad provided me with an environment in which I had to walk around on eggshells. I try to still show honor to my dad and I only share this to help paint a picture of what I dealt with.  Many of you grew up in an environment like this.  I was asked to give the eulogy at my dads funeral, and it turned into more of a sermon of Gods love and grace because, what words could I say about a man whom I was callus towards.  Maybe you grew up without a dad in the picture, or a dad who was militant or even abusive.  I struggle from time to time not being able to pick up the phone and call my dad for guidance and council.  I barely knew my dad.  I didn't know his likes or dislikes.  I don't know where my dad really grew up or who his heroes were.  My dad didn't like sports or follow any team.  I didn't know this man that provided me with a bed, clothes, food, and a house.  He did provide me with a $200 beater truck when I turned 16 and for that, I am grateful.

  I am in constant search of a father figure on this land called Earth.  Dudes at work just remind me of my old man, which isn't what I am striving for.  In fact, I can't think of one person at work I'd share my secrets with. I hardly make it to church with my family on Sunday's any more because of my work schedule, which is ok, because the family is able to make it.  But God has provided me with something that I know is greater then all of that.  He has also provided you with the same thing.  God has provided his Love.  He has provided his Grace, His word, and His promise that He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  Plus He has provided me with Podcasts so I can listen to the sermons I miss. And as awesome as that is, which i must say is pretty awesome, there is also something to be said to have the wisdom and guidance of an Earthly dad.  No family is perfect.  That's why we need God, no matter what the world says.  I have been blessed with enough wisdom to seek out council and guidance from Godly men who have many years experience on me.  I have Godly men in my life, but not one who I share everything with.  Whether that is good or not, I don't know, but it's what I do.  

  My goal is to be a better dad to my kids then the dad I had.  There are days when I fail miserably.  I don't abuse my kids, but I can tend to be selfish and think of myself some days.  But there are also days when I am a Super Dad and where my kids think I am the best thing since Thomas the Train.  I have a Godly wife who helps me and prays for me.  She is awesome.  But, how many times have you heard stories or read stories in the paper about kids doing bad things and reading that the dad was no where in sight?  How many stats have you been shown about what a difference a dad makes in the life of a family?  I will to be the kind of dad that when my daughter grows up, she searches for a man like her daddy.  I will be the kind of dad to play catch with my kids, and to be there for.  I pray that God will help me to be that dad. 

To those of you who are in this same boat as me, I encourage you to stay the course.  You are a good dad, and your children love you.  Seek the council of Godly men, and pray that God will provide you with a dude to walk through this life with you.  I'm sure God has someone in mind for you.  But, just like me, you might have to show a little patience. 

In Him, 

The Clouse

You only have one good chance.

  Today I met a buddy for lunch.  He's someone who I can confide in and knows my dark side.  We meet for lunch to hangout, vent, sharpen each other and be real with each other.  Something struck me though when we were talking today that I had to share with you.  We were doing the normal banter at first such as "How's your wife? How are your kids?" and then we dove right into the "nitty gritty."  One of the topics that was brought up was our kids education since both our older kids are starting Kindergarten this Fall and will be attending the same school.  What was brought up and what came out of my mouth actually surprised me.  I know that may be hard for some of you to fathom, but it's true.  Anyone who knows me knows that I get all sweaty, nervous and short of breath when I have to spend money.  So while we discussing schools and taxes and costs of school, I said "We only get one good chance to be a good parent."  I thought about that statement the rest of lunch and the car ride home.

We only get one good chance to be a good parent and to be a positive influence on our kids while they are still living under our roof.  I only get one good chance to provide my children with the best education that I can give them.  I only get one good chance to be a good dad.  I only get one good chance to be a good husband.  Some of you may think you have multiple good chances, but you really don't have that one good chance after it's gone.  Let me give you an example.  When I was about 10 years old, I saw my mom kiss the guy who lived next door to us.  She knew that I saw them and asked me to keep it a secret from my dad.  Needless to say, my dad found out that my mom had committed adultery and her one good chance was gone.  They stayed married until my dad died at the old age of 43, but it was never the same relationship after that.  There were arguments and the past was ALWAYS brought up.  Their one good chance was gone.  Oh, it could be mended. With prayer, Godly counsel, a strong core group of friends, and most of all Christ's love, it would have been repaired, but not without the scar to prove it.  We all have scars, and many of us have ruined our one good chance.  Don't get me wrong.  We have all been given multiple chances.  I have many scars to prove that, but I ruined many one good chances.

You only get one good chance to be a good parent, a good spouse, a good child, a good friend, and a good co-worker.  I have my vices.  I struggle with each category.  BUT, I have been given Grace from God above.  I am my toughest critic, but God loves me regardless.  With the help of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I can use my one chance to do better.

In Conclusion, I get one good chance.  I don't know when I will take my last breath.  So, what am I going to do with my one good chance?  What will you do with your one good chance?  I don't want to make this sound like a guilt trip.  I just want you to think about it.  Because of the blood of Jesus, we get a second chance, a third chance, etc., etc.  The blood of Jesus shouldn't be used as a get out of jail free card.  Learn from your mistakes and use the past as a spring board to get back up.  I tell people that I may fall, but as long as I fall forward then it's still in the right direction.  So, onward fellow soldiers, and use the one good chance, or the many other chances to be a better person.

In Him,
Jimmy

See anything good at the movies lately? Read a good book?

I am quite amazed by all the buzz about the book 50 Shades or Grey and the movie Magic Mike.  I'm sure the writer and Hollywood is loving all the free publicity though.  This book and movie has sure brought up something that I am actually diggin'. It's bringing up conversation amongst those who follow Christ.  I have never seen so many women who follow Christ actually wait hours and hours in line to get tickets  to see this movie or get so excited about a book.  I have read Blogs, articles, and even heard conversations for or against this book and movie.  Have I read the book? No.  Of course not.  I have seen the movie?  Of course not.  But I'll hear some stupid argument by someone saying how I shouldn't criticize this book or movie if I haven't read or seen it.  Well, here's another argument genius. Why do you warn your kids to stay away from drugs if you have never tried them?  If you respond with , "I have tried them and drugs jacked me up" then I'll tell you that you answered your own question.  You don't need to do drugs to know that they'll ruin your life, your family, and everything you worked hard for.  And if you have done drugs then you already know first hand how they can jack up your life.

Picture this, you're thirsty and I give you an unopened bottle of ice cold, refreshing water.  Will you accept it?  Of course you will.  Now, what if I just add a teaspoon of motor oil to that bottle of ice cold, refreshing water?  Will you accept it?  Maybe you will.  Is it good for you?  No it's not. That oil just contaminated that bottle.  Now, I'm not going to sit here and give you a Sunday School lesson on why you should or shouldn't read or watch that movie.  I'm sure your little conscious has already spoken to you about that.  I call that the Holy Spirit.  You know, that voice inside your head telling what you ought or ought not know or do.  I'm sure you may feel convicted if you have read or seen those things.  If you haven't, then I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you have made your heart callus.  You have made yourself callus by ignoring that voice over and over and over again.  I know because I have made myself callus in the past, and I am sure even now there are some things that I am callus about.  

I am blessed to be married to a woman who won't contaminate her mind and heart by reading that book or watching that movie.  I'm sure if you're a woman reading this you'll say that you're a blessing to your husband and you have read the book and watched the movie.  I'm sure you may be a blessing to him, but you have just put a teaspoon of oil inside yourself.  And here is something that I have heard on the radio, that I have read, and even heard conversations about.  Well Jimmy, the Bible says Thou Shall Not Judge.  Hey Genius, Guess what?  I too can pick random, half read scripture verses and make them read how I want to.  It's been done throughout history.  Like this, in Genius 9:3, it says,

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

 Guess that means I can smoke weed.  It says so right there.  EEEHHH!! WRONG!  Guess what I just did?  I just randomly picked out a verse to fulfill my needs, IF I was a pothead.  But I'm not.  

The Bible tells us to judge.  Let me explain.  I am to judge my fellow believers in Christ.  If I have a friend who is a nonbeliever, should I go about judging him?  No.  Why?  Because God would show him love and compassion.  Would God want me to go to my buddy who is a believer and call him out of drugs, spousal abuse, adultery, pornography, etc.?  Yes.  Why? Because that what God has commanded me to do.  But there is a right and wrong way to judge. Did you know that?  When people hear the word judge they get freaked out.  So let's rephrase it to correcting one another.  Because people can judge negatively and that is something that Jesus NEVER did.  Jesus corrected in a loving and compassionate way.  That's what we need to do when confronting a buddy about a road block in their life.  If you don't surround yourself by a few good and close friends who share your belief system, then you are destined to fall and fail.  Your like a swimmer, all alone, being circled by sharks  But, if you do surround yourself with a few good friends, then you'll be able to receive correction a lot better.  

This book and this movie is a lot deeper then filling your mind and body with garbage.  This is about standing up to something that could potentially be kindling to ruin your marriage, your family, and yourself.  But Jimmy, my husband watches porn.  Well, he's wrong.  He shouldn't be watching porn.  So, I end with this.  Guard your hearts, guard your children, and protect your marriage,  If not, then you might as well take your young daughter to watch that movie with you, or hand her the book.  Just ruin them now and get it over with.  Harsh?  Yes.  But hopefully it drives the point home.  

In Him, 

Jimmy

The Church Clique

   I attended First Baptist Church Norfolk in Va. before I became a believer in Christ at the age of 17.  Even after I became a believer I attended FBCN until I joined the military at the ripe old age of 18.  I had attended FBCN from a young age, maybe 8 or 9 years old.  I tell you this to set up the picture.  I attended FBCN but no one knew me until I was 17.  My Sunday School teachers knew me because I attended their class, but the other kids didn't know who I was.  After I accepted Jesus as my Savior, after I was set on fire for Christ, that's when people began to ask me if I just started attending the Church. It's kind of sad that we can attend Church for so long and not be recognized.  Have you ever been to a church and no one shakes your hand or introduces themselves to you?  I have.  Have you ever attended a church and notice the same people every week gather together in their own little clique?  I have.  Have you felt left out? Have you felt alone? Have you felt uncomfortable? I have.
  
   I make a self conscious effort to introduce myself to new people at church because I know how it feels to be the new guy.  But why do so many people in the church shun new people?  It's because we are comfortable.  We have allowed ourselves to make a comfortable bubble around ourselves where we control the enviroment.  I do this with friendships, so I know what happens.  I share only what I need to with others and only allow my friends to see the real me.  I don't think that is bad, because I feel as though you should not air out your dirty laundry for everyone to see.  Some people can't handle the stink.  BUT, there is a difference between being friendly to everyone and being friends with everyone.  Proverbs 18:24 says "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  I don't have many friends, but the ones I have are loyal and true.  I digress.  When we gather in the name of Jesus we should extend our hand to those around us.  You don't need to be best friends with that person, but you have to be friendly.  Greet the new person or persons.  Make them feel welcome. Show them the love of Jesus through your actions.  Get out of your bubble.  Get out of your clique.  I believe that many things can ruin a church and one of those are cliques. 

   This morning, as you get yourself ready to worship, find a new person, shake their hand and welcome them.  You'll be surprise by what a big difference that small gesture could have.