In search of a dad.

To those who grew up without a dad, or a dad who happened to be there but not.  

 After my dad died I have probably been in search of a father figure.  He died at the age of 43 and I was 20, and the last time I saw him I was 18.  My dad was was abusive, both verbally and physically, an alcoholic and tended to do quite a bit of traveling when I was growing up.  One year he traveled over 75% of that year.  I am not trying to make this a pity party, because it's not, but I know that many of you have probably struggled with this same issue.  If not, then praise God!  I was fortunate to be part of Boy Scouts and surrounded by Godly men whom I was able to look up to and gain valuable wisdom and knowledge from while in pursuit of my Eagle Scout.  I was also part of an awesome church youth group in which I was surrounded by friends that were able to help me get through those rough teenage years.  But I also learned from a very young age to be guarded.  I learned to only let people know what you wanted them to know.  I slip up every now and get  burned by the "gossip grapevine" which then reminds me why I remained guarded in the first place. 

  My dad provided me with an environment in which I had to walk around on eggshells. I try to still show honor to my dad and I only share this to help paint a picture of what I dealt with.  Many of you grew up in an environment like this.  I was asked to give the eulogy at my dads funeral, and it turned into more of a sermon of Gods love and grace because, what words could I say about a man whom I was callus towards.  Maybe you grew up without a dad in the picture, or a dad who was militant or even abusive.  I struggle from time to time not being able to pick up the phone and call my dad for guidance and council.  I barely knew my dad.  I didn't know his likes or dislikes.  I don't know where my dad really grew up or who his heroes were.  My dad didn't like sports or follow any team.  I didn't know this man that provided me with a bed, clothes, food, and a house.  He did provide me with a $200 beater truck when I turned 16 and for that, I am grateful.

  I am in constant search of a father figure on this land called Earth.  Dudes at work just remind me of my old man, which isn't what I am striving for.  In fact, I can't think of one person at work I'd share my secrets with. I hardly make it to church with my family on Sunday's any more because of my work schedule, which is ok, because the family is able to make it.  But God has provided me with something that I know is greater then all of that.  He has also provided you with the same thing.  God has provided his Love.  He has provided his Grace, His word, and His promise that He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  Plus He has provided me with Podcasts so I can listen to the sermons I miss. And as awesome as that is, which i must say is pretty awesome, there is also something to be said to have the wisdom and guidance of an Earthly dad.  No family is perfect.  That's why we need God, no matter what the world says.  I have been blessed with enough wisdom to seek out council and guidance from Godly men who have many years experience on me.  I have Godly men in my life, but not one who I share everything with.  Whether that is good or not, I don't know, but it's what I do.  

  My goal is to be a better dad to my kids then the dad I had.  There are days when I fail miserably.  I don't abuse my kids, but I can tend to be selfish and think of myself some days.  But there are also days when I am a Super Dad and where my kids think I am the best thing since Thomas the Train.  I have a Godly wife who helps me and prays for me.  She is awesome.  But, how many times have you heard stories or read stories in the paper about kids doing bad things and reading that the dad was no where in sight?  How many stats have you been shown about what a difference a dad makes in the life of a family?  I will to be the kind of dad that when my daughter grows up, she searches for a man like her daddy.  I will be the kind of dad to play catch with my kids, and to be there for.  I pray that God will help me to be that dad. 

To those of you who are in this same boat as me, I encourage you to stay the course.  You are a good dad, and your children love you.  Seek the council of Godly men, and pray that God will provide you with a dude to walk through this life with you.  I'm sure God has someone in mind for you.  But, just like me, you might have to show a little patience. 

In Him, 

The Clouse

You only have one good chance.

  Today I met a buddy for lunch.  He's someone who I can confide in and knows my dark side.  We meet for lunch to hangout, vent, sharpen each other and be real with each other.  Something struck me though when we were talking today that I had to share with you.  We were doing the normal banter at first such as "How's your wife? How are your kids?" and then we dove right into the "nitty gritty."  One of the topics that was brought up was our kids education since both our older kids are starting Kindergarten this Fall and will be attending the same school.  What was brought up and what came out of my mouth actually surprised me.  I know that may be hard for some of you to fathom, but it's true.  Anyone who knows me knows that I get all sweaty, nervous and short of breath when I have to spend money.  So while we discussing schools and taxes and costs of school, I said "We only get one good chance to be a good parent."  I thought about that statement the rest of lunch and the car ride home.

We only get one good chance to be a good parent and to be a positive influence on our kids while they are still living under our roof.  I only get one good chance to provide my children with the best education that I can give them.  I only get one good chance to be a good dad.  I only get one good chance to be a good husband.  Some of you may think you have multiple good chances, but you really don't have that one good chance after it's gone.  Let me give you an example.  When I was about 10 years old, I saw my mom kiss the guy who lived next door to us.  She knew that I saw them and asked me to keep it a secret from my dad.  Needless to say, my dad found out that my mom had committed adultery and her one good chance was gone.  They stayed married until my dad died at the old age of 43, but it was never the same relationship after that.  There were arguments and the past was ALWAYS brought up.  Their one good chance was gone.  Oh, it could be mended. With prayer, Godly counsel, a strong core group of friends, and most of all Christ's love, it would have been repaired, but not without the scar to prove it.  We all have scars, and many of us have ruined our one good chance.  Don't get me wrong.  We have all been given multiple chances.  I have many scars to prove that, but I ruined many one good chances.

You only get one good chance to be a good parent, a good spouse, a good child, a good friend, and a good co-worker.  I have my vices.  I struggle with each category.  BUT, I have been given Grace from God above.  I am my toughest critic, but God loves me regardless.  With the help of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I can use my one chance to do better.

In Conclusion, I get one good chance.  I don't know when I will take my last breath.  So, what am I going to do with my one good chance?  What will you do with your one good chance?  I don't want to make this sound like a guilt trip.  I just want you to think about it.  Because of the blood of Jesus, we get a second chance, a third chance, etc., etc.  The blood of Jesus shouldn't be used as a get out of jail free card.  Learn from your mistakes and use the past as a spring board to get back up.  I tell people that I may fall, but as long as I fall forward then it's still in the right direction.  So, onward fellow soldiers, and use the one good chance, or the many other chances to be a better person.

In Him,
Jimmy

See anything good at the movies lately? Read a good book?

I am quite amazed by all the buzz about the book 50 Shades or Grey and the movie Magic Mike.  I'm sure the writer and Hollywood is loving all the free publicity though.  This book and movie has sure brought up something that I am actually diggin'. It's bringing up conversation amongst those who follow Christ.  I have never seen so many women who follow Christ actually wait hours and hours in line to get tickets  to see this movie or get so excited about a book.  I have read Blogs, articles, and even heard conversations for or against this book and movie.  Have I read the book? No.  Of course not.  I have seen the movie?  Of course not.  But I'll hear some stupid argument by someone saying how I shouldn't criticize this book or movie if I haven't read or seen it.  Well, here's another argument genius. Why do you warn your kids to stay away from drugs if you have never tried them?  If you respond with , "I have tried them and drugs jacked me up" then I'll tell you that you answered your own question.  You don't need to do drugs to know that they'll ruin your life, your family, and everything you worked hard for.  And if you have done drugs then you already know first hand how they can jack up your life.

Picture this, you're thirsty and I give you an unopened bottle of ice cold, refreshing water.  Will you accept it?  Of course you will.  Now, what if I just add a teaspoon of motor oil to that bottle of ice cold, refreshing water?  Will you accept it?  Maybe you will.  Is it good for you?  No it's not. That oil just contaminated that bottle.  Now, I'm not going to sit here and give you a Sunday School lesson on why you should or shouldn't read or watch that movie.  I'm sure your little conscious has already spoken to you about that.  I call that the Holy Spirit.  You know, that voice inside your head telling what you ought or ought not know or do.  I'm sure you may feel convicted if you have read or seen those things.  If you haven't, then I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you have made your heart callus.  You have made yourself callus by ignoring that voice over and over and over again.  I know because I have made myself callus in the past, and I am sure even now there are some things that I am callus about.  

I am blessed to be married to a woman who won't contaminate her mind and heart by reading that book or watching that movie.  I'm sure if you're a woman reading this you'll say that you're a blessing to your husband and you have read the book and watched the movie.  I'm sure you may be a blessing to him, but you have just put a teaspoon of oil inside yourself.  And here is something that I have heard on the radio, that I have read, and even heard conversations about.  Well Jimmy, the Bible says Thou Shall Not Judge.  Hey Genius, Guess what?  I too can pick random, half read scripture verses and make them read how I want to.  It's been done throughout history.  Like this, in Genius 9:3, it says,

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

 Guess that means I can smoke weed.  It says so right there.  EEEHHH!! WRONG!  Guess what I just did?  I just randomly picked out a verse to fulfill my needs, IF I was a pothead.  But I'm not.  

The Bible tells us to judge.  Let me explain.  I am to judge my fellow believers in Christ.  If I have a friend who is a nonbeliever, should I go about judging him?  No.  Why?  Because God would show him love and compassion.  Would God want me to go to my buddy who is a believer and call him out of drugs, spousal abuse, adultery, pornography, etc.?  Yes.  Why? Because that what God has commanded me to do.  But there is a right and wrong way to judge. Did you know that?  When people hear the word judge they get freaked out.  So let's rephrase it to correcting one another.  Because people can judge negatively and that is something that Jesus NEVER did.  Jesus corrected in a loving and compassionate way.  That's what we need to do when confronting a buddy about a road block in their life.  If you don't surround yourself by a few good and close friends who share your belief system, then you are destined to fall and fail.  Your like a swimmer, all alone, being circled by sharks  But, if you do surround yourself with a few good friends, then you'll be able to receive correction a lot better.  

This book and this movie is a lot deeper then filling your mind and body with garbage.  This is about standing up to something that could potentially be kindling to ruin your marriage, your family, and yourself.  But Jimmy, my husband watches porn.  Well, he's wrong.  He shouldn't be watching porn.  So, I end with this.  Guard your hearts, guard your children, and protect your marriage,  If not, then you might as well take your young daughter to watch that movie with you, or hand her the book.  Just ruin them now and get it over with.  Harsh?  Yes.  But hopefully it drives the point home.  

In Him, 

Jimmy