Parents just don't understand......

   I love the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff.  I could sing, and probably still can, every song they made.  One of the first songs I memorized was "Parents just don't understand."  Pure greatness.  At least from a teenagers point of view.  Now that I am a 30-something, that song still makes me smile.  But there is something to be said about parents.  Parents are the first line of defense against a world, that for all practical purposes, sucks.  I mean, come on.  How many times have you heard the phrase or have said the phrase, "Life's not fair!"?  Be honest.  Maybe it was a business deal gone bad, a family member or a favorite pet died.  Maybe you lost money, ran out of gas, lost best friends.  Parents are our first taste of life.  They should be the ones to introduce us to the harsh realities of life in a controlled environment.  If you were blessed to have parents like that, I am thankful for that.  But if you were like me, you were introduced the harshness of life within the walls of your childhood home whether you were abused, beaten, lied to, yelled at, bullied, etc. God only gave us one mom and one dad.  Regardless if we know our mom and dad or not, we still have only one mom and dad.  God blessed me by getting me out of a house, a city, and a state where I was ruining my life and running myself in the ground.  Probably 6 feet deep in the ground to be exact.

  As for me and my parental units, my dad is dead and I have a very, very strained relationship with my mom.  I'm pretty bad about keeping in touch with my aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I am pretty close to one cousin and pretty close to one aunt and her family.  I believe in the idea of family, but have never experienced what that really meant.  If you happen to be a family member of mine and you're reading this, I'll at least text you one day, i think.  I don't really like talking on the phone, and a blog lets me only share what I want to share.  It's a win-win for me because I'll never know if you read this and I only let the world know what I want it to know.  It's just a sense of control you can say.  I have family who love me and would help me if I asked, but I just don't have a relationship with them.  God has blessed me with an amazing wife and two beautiful children.  I plan to foster a great relationship with them and my prayer is that they will not see certain family members as a burden as I do when they grow up.  Remember to be nice to your kids because they will be the ones to decide which nursing home you will go to.  I hope that my kids love me enough not to send me to a government run nursing home.

  My sexy wife has a great relationship with her family and her family is very close.  I find that odd and something I strongly desire at times.  I often wish we lived closer to my wife's family because I know that would make her and my kids happy, but in our current position, we can't.  I have always told myself that family is what you make of it.  In the military I was able to make other military members family.  Here, in Texas, I have been able to make a few friends family.  Is family really that important?  I question that often.  There are times when I am a Lone Ranger at work, or at the gym, at church, or in group settings.  Sometimes I feel like I have to be the best at what I do as if I have to prove something to someone.  But to who?  I don't really care about the opinions of well, mostly everyone.  Is that so wrong?  What does the bible say about these feelings?  There are many examples of family going their separate ways and verses that tell me to work as though I am working unto the Lord.  I'm sharing this because I don't think I am the only one out there with these feelings.  How do I know?  Well the bible of course,  The bible says in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun.  Jimmy's translation....someone else felt the same you feel.

  Do you have an internal battle with these issues or is it just me?  I have been truly blessed in my life so far and I have plenty of room for improvement.  I guess my first step to improving myself is to not drink so much Starbucks coffee and to stop falling in love with Paula Deen.  Because who doesn't love bacon?

In Him,
Jimmy

Nothing will make a grown man cry quicker....

   Jurnee has successfully completed 5 full days of kindergarten.  She started last Wednesday and I have to be honest here, my eyes got filled with tears when we dropped her off that first.  I blame allergies.  At least that is what I told Miriam that, who happened NOT to fall for that.  It was strange because Jurnee was in preschool last year for 4 days a week, but dropping her off at Kindergarten seemed completely different.  She was walking though the same doors as the "bigger" kids.  She didn't want me to walk with her to the door on the second day because she is now a "big girl."  Boom!  What was that that just hit me in my chest? Was that the elusive heart that my lovely bride tells me I don't have?  I think it was. Now listen, I have served in the military,  I have been to the desert, I have been randomly shot at (at least I think it was random), I have been strong when others have been weak.  I have been the first to volunteer for difficult tasks and the last to leave.  But nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, took me down more then hearing those words leave the mouth of my little princess.  I have been outnumbered in fights and still that seemed easier then letting go of my little girls hand to watch her walk through her classroom door.

   God is an amazing God.  He knew that I needed a daughter to soften this beating thing in my chest that keeps me alive.  God knew what he was doing when he brought me and Miriam together.  I am not a perfect man, but I serve a perfect God.  I need to remind myself everyday that it's not the days in my life that will matter when I die, but what I do in those days that will matter.  I need to take advantage of the time I have now with Jurnee because it won't be like this for long.

In Him