I told Miriam that I hadn't written any sort of blog update. I have been busy. Family, work, extra curricular activities such as HOA President and Union rep tends to take up a lot of my time. Here is something that is even more awesome about being the HOA President...I am not a fan of HOAs. Go figure.
But, here is my attempt at a blog with a point. I should retitle this blog as finding that sweet spot in your life. What does that mean? In my opinion, it's the spot where you're juuuusssttt about "there" in meeting your life goals. Your fingertips are grazing it, but you just can't get a grip. This allows room for you to grow. But where is "there"? Your "there" is different from my there. But you need to set goals, and when you meet your goals, you need to set new goals. Make sense? You'll hear experts say you need to set long term and short term goals. That's all find and dandy, but how about making realistic goals and lifetime goals. Let me share with you my goals and maybe that will help you.
My goals are, in no particular order:
1) To be completely debt free, including my house. I am a Dave Ramsey follower. His biblical teachings and forthrightness is something that I am a huge fan of. But you need to do your own homework. Read a book, read your bible, listen to a Podcast, take a class, etc. Set a plan of action with your spouse, or if you're single, ask a parent of friend to help you set up an action plan. Stay the course. But as with any goal, there is going to be sacrifice on your part.
2) Be a better husband. This goal is a life goal. I didn't have a great example growing up as to what a good husband looked like. My parents were verbally and physically abusive to my sisters and I. My parents were verbally and physically abusive to each other. In spite of all of that, I was blessed to be involved in the Boy Scouts and in a church youth group. I was able to see the example of Godly men and how they treated their spouse. I also made every effort to learn from those older than me and to learn from their mistakes. But, how am I trying to become a better husband? I try to take my wife on dates regularly. I try to treat my wife like a daughter of the King. I try to keep her above my children, meaning my kids know that before they were ever thought of, their mother was my number 1 and she still is. That doesn't mean that I don't love my children, it's just that they will not play me against their mother.
3) Be a better dad. This is another life goal with no end in sight, just like my goal to be a better husband. How do I do try to become a better dad? I let my kids know that they're important to me by sacrificing time at work or another project to attend as many school events, practices, etc., that I can attend. It's not easy with my Air Traffic Control work schedule, but it's important for my children to see me at these events. I can't make every event, but I have a pretty good track record, and I plan to keep it that way. Does that mean I only get 4 hours a sleep in order to be at swim practice? Yes. Does that mean by 6pm I am begging to go to sleep? Yes. Does that mean I need to find a better balance to keep myself healthy? Yes. I also try to take my daughter on dates with me. I want my daughter to know that no matter what, she has a daddy that loves her to the moon and back. I want her to be treated like a daughter of the King as well, and when she is older I want her to have a good foundation of what a Godly man looks like when some boy tries to pursue her. I am not without my faults, but that doesn't mean that should hold me back from trying my best. I also teach my Pre-K son to treat woman like gold. To hold open the door for women, to not lay a hand on a woman in anger, and to be a protector of women. He will not be like me as a teenage kid. I hit puberty but had NO control. But that's because I didn't have a dad to walk with me through those years. I will be there for my son in those teenage years and until the day I die. I will also be taking my son out for one-on-one time because that is also important.
4) Be a better friend. Oh boy. This is always a point of contention between my lovely bride and I :) Miriam tends to say that I tricked her. When we first started dating, she saw me as outgoing and the life of the party. But she only saw me act like this with people I knew and my friends. Miriam AND my daughter can make friends with just about anyone. I have three really close friends that I can call, vent, and act a fool with. I firmly believe that we need to be friendly to everyone, and we should love everyone, but that does't mean that I need to make everyone a best friend. Be wise in whom you make a best friend. But be friendly and make peace with everyone. I still struggle with this from time to time, because maybe sometimes people just need a high five, in the face, with a chair. I kid, I kid. But seriously. However, the bible tells me to get along with everyone.
5) Create a bucket list. Miriam and I created a bucket list. You need to dream big and attack that list. We have a bucket list on our refrigerator door and we cross off places after we travel or accomplish a task on our list. We were able to cross of our visit to NYC this Summer which was on our bucket list. This is your chance to sit down with your spouse, or by yourself if you're single, and create a list. DREAM BIG!
6) Be a world changer. This is a great one because this forces you to not put yourself first. This is also an uncomfortable one that takes you out of your little bubble. This is a life goal for me because I SUCK at it. I am about as selfish as they come. But I care about the legacy I leave. I fundraise for the MS Society because my wife has MS. I sacrifice my time to help people and to work in my community. I want my kids to learn the art of putting others first. It's not easy to do, but we all can do better. Many of us are stuck in a routine of sleep, wake up, eat, shower, work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. You can make a difference in the world and are called to do so. And by world, I mean your world first. First start with your family, then your friends, and then your community. Do it! Trust me. You'll feel such a sense of gratification that no words will be able to describe it.
These are just a few goals that I have made for myself. Now you go. Set your own goals and change your life, because I can't do it for you. Pull up your big boy pants (or girl pants if you're a lady reader). Stop making excuses. Make today the day you change your family tree. Make today the day you change the direction of your life. And guess what...if you need help, you have a Father in Heaven who will help guide you, and guess what again....you have a friend in Miriam and I. But remember, it doesn't mean you're my best friend....yet :)
Regards,
Jimmy
