I told Miriam that I hadn't written any sort of blog update. I have been busy. Family, work, extra curricular activities such as HOA President and Union rep tends to take up a lot of my time. Here is something that is even more awesome about being the HOA President...I am not a fan of HOAs. Go figure.
But, here is my attempt at a blog with a point. I should retitle this blog as finding that sweet spot in your life. What does that mean? In my opinion, it's the spot where you're juuuusssttt about "there" in meeting your life goals. Your fingertips are grazing it, but you just can't get a grip. This allows room for you to grow. But where is "there"? Your "there" is different from my there. But you need to set goals, and when you meet your goals, you need to set new goals. Make sense? You'll hear experts say you need to set long term and short term goals. That's all find and dandy, but how about making realistic goals and lifetime goals. Let me share with you my goals and maybe that will help you.
My goals are, in no particular order:
1) To be completely debt free, including my house. I am a Dave Ramsey follower. His biblical teachings and forthrightness is something that I am a huge fan of. But you need to do your own homework. Read a book, read your bible, listen to a Podcast, take a class, etc. Set a plan of action with your spouse, or if you're single, ask a parent of friend to help you set up an action plan. Stay the course. But as with any goal, there is going to be sacrifice on your part.
2) Be a better husband. This goal is a life goal. I didn't have a great example growing up as to what a good husband looked like. My parents were verbally and physically abusive to my sisters and I. My parents were verbally and physically abusive to each other. In spite of all of that, I was blessed to be involved in the Boy Scouts and in a church youth group. I was able to see the example of Godly men and how they treated their spouse. I also made every effort to learn from those older than me and to learn from their mistakes. But, how am I trying to become a better husband? I try to take my wife on dates regularly. I try to treat my wife like a daughter of the King. I try to keep her above my children, meaning my kids know that before they were ever thought of, their mother was my number 1 and she still is. That doesn't mean that I don't love my children, it's just that they will not play me against their mother.
3) Be a better dad. This is another life goal with no end in sight, just like my goal to be a better husband. How do I do try to become a better dad? I let my kids know that they're important to me by sacrificing time at work or another project to attend as many school events, practices, etc., that I can attend. It's not easy with my Air Traffic Control work schedule, but it's important for my children to see me at these events. I can't make every event, but I have a pretty good track record, and I plan to keep it that way. Does that mean I only get 4 hours a sleep in order to be at swim practice? Yes. Does that mean by 6pm I am begging to go to sleep? Yes. Does that mean I need to find a better balance to keep myself healthy? Yes. I also try to take my daughter on dates with me. I want my daughter to know that no matter what, she has a daddy that loves her to the moon and back. I want her to be treated like a daughter of the King as well, and when she is older I want her to have a good foundation of what a Godly man looks like when some boy tries to pursue her. I am not without my faults, but that doesn't mean that should hold me back from trying my best. I also teach my Pre-K son to treat woman like gold. To hold open the door for women, to not lay a hand on a woman in anger, and to be a protector of women. He will not be like me as a teenage kid. I hit puberty but had NO control. But that's because I didn't have a dad to walk with me through those years. I will be there for my son in those teenage years and until the day I die. I will also be taking my son out for one-on-one time because that is also important.
4) Be a better friend. Oh boy. This is always a point of contention between my lovely bride and I :) Miriam tends to say that I tricked her. When we first started dating, she saw me as outgoing and the life of the party. But she only saw me act like this with people I knew and my friends. Miriam AND my daughter can make friends with just about anyone. I have three really close friends that I can call, vent, and act a fool with. I firmly believe that we need to be friendly to everyone, and we should love everyone, but that does't mean that I need to make everyone a best friend. Be wise in whom you make a best friend. But be friendly and make peace with everyone. I still struggle with this from time to time, because maybe sometimes people just need a high five, in the face, with a chair. I kid, I kid. But seriously. However, the bible tells me to get along with everyone.
5) Create a bucket list. Miriam and I created a bucket list. You need to dream big and attack that list. We have a bucket list on our refrigerator door and we cross off places after we travel or accomplish a task on our list. We were able to cross of our visit to NYC this Summer which was on our bucket list. This is your chance to sit down with your spouse, or by yourself if you're single, and create a list. DREAM BIG!
6) Be a world changer. This is a great one because this forces you to not put yourself first. This is also an uncomfortable one that takes you out of your little bubble. This is a life goal for me because I SUCK at it. I am about as selfish as they come. But I care about the legacy I leave. I fundraise for the MS Society because my wife has MS. I sacrifice my time to help people and to work in my community. I want my kids to learn the art of putting others first. It's not easy to do, but we all can do better. Many of us are stuck in a routine of sleep, wake up, eat, shower, work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. You can make a difference in the world and are called to do so. And by world, I mean your world first. First start with your family, then your friends, and then your community. Do it! Trust me. You'll feel such a sense of gratification that no words will be able to describe it.
These are just a few goals that I have made for myself. Now you go. Set your own goals and change your life, because I can't do it for you. Pull up your big boy pants (or girl pants if you're a lady reader). Stop making excuses. Make today the day you change your family tree. Make today the day you change the direction of your life. And guess what...if you need help, you have a Father in Heaven who will help guide you, and guess what again....you have a friend in Miriam and I. But remember, it doesn't mean you're my best friend....yet :)
Regards,
Jimmy
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Friday, August 21, 2015
People are watching
I have not always found it easy to stand up for my beliefs. There was a time in my life that I didn't want people to know that I was a follower of Christ. My actions spoke louder than my words and sometimes they still do. I would hit the clubs on Saturday night and drag my butt to church on Sunday morning when I was younger. I spoke about Gods grace but would use his grace like a credit card to sin. I would rack up the credit and then hit my knees to ask for forgiveness because I knew that God would love me and forgive me and wipe the slate clean. However, I did not know of the lasting consequences that would have. I did not know the marks and scars doing that would leave behind.
People are watching me. People are watching you. They see how you act. Some are waiting for you to fall and stumble. I do not know all the answers and I do not claim to have all the answers. I make mistakes. I still sin. We all do. But we serve an amazing God. Stay the course and be the light.
People are watching me. People are watching you. They see how you act. Some are waiting for you to fall and stumble. I do not know all the answers and I do not claim to have all the answers. I make mistakes. I still sin. We all do. But we serve an amazing God. Stay the course and be the light.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
I sense a theme....
I just did a quick review of blogs that I have written in the past. Some of them are written about my past and the abuse and the hurt. Others are just blogs of random bantering that I have with myself when I sit down and write. But as i re-read some of them, I sense a theme of unforgivness. Apparently spell check didn't think that unforgivness is a word. It is today. Do you have any idea how often I talk to God and tell Him that I have forgiven my parents? No? Well the answer is a lot. My dad was a jerk. There are many words I could use, but jerk will do. He was abusive, both verbally and physically. He was an alcoholic. He did drugs. He was unfair and unjust. Now, there may have been some good memories of him, but the really bad memories have choked out the good ones. My dad died when I was 20 year, and I don't recall shedding a tear. I remember the pain and the hurt and the nightmares I had after his death, but I didn't cry.
I have promised myself to be a better father to my kids than my dad was to me and my sisters. I have promised myself that I will not be an alcoholic or be the type of dad he was to me. Why do I tell you all this? It's because of unforgiveness. I share this because maybe you have unforgivness in your heart. I struggle with forgiving both my parents, but I can speak with authority on this....you can learn even from a bad example. My mom might read this, and I am ok with it. She knows what we grew up with and the environment we lived in, and she knows she could have done more, but I want MY family history to be different, and it already is.
Who have you not forgiven? It's hard to forgive but we are all called to do it. Trust me. I have done better with letting go of some of the hurt and pain. I tell people to let go and give it to God. Is it hypocritical for me to say that and not do it? Maybe. But, it's a true statement and something that I must do. But we aren't called to do it alone. First, I have a Father who does love me and does care. Secondly, I have a wife who loves me and supports me. Next, I have a small close knit group of friends I vent to and know pray for me, and last but not least, I have a church that is full of sinners and hypocrites that are struggling along with me. But that church is full of grace, and love, and respect, and patience, and comedians, and friends, and there is power in numbers.
I don't want to have to keep writing a blog about how crappy my growing up was. It was crappy, so let's move on, Clouse. I want to write about Freedom and about Forgiveness and about what Christ is doing and will do. But I write this to tell you if you haven't forgiven someone, I understand. It can take time. My dad has been dead for almost 14 years now, and I still struggle. My mom is still alive, and I still struggle with forgiving her. I hold on to the unforgivness like it's a pet or something. We MUST forgive. We are CALLED to forgive. I'll pray for you and you pray for me. There is power in numbers.
In Him,
Clouse
I have promised myself to be a better father to my kids than my dad was to me and my sisters. I have promised myself that I will not be an alcoholic or be the type of dad he was to me. Why do I tell you all this? It's because of unforgiveness. I share this because maybe you have unforgivness in your heart. I struggle with forgiving both my parents, but I can speak with authority on this....you can learn even from a bad example. My mom might read this, and I am ok with it. She knows what we grew up with and the environment we lived in, and she knows she could have done more, but I want MY family history to be different, and it already is.
Who have you not forgiven? It's hard to forgive but we are all called to do it. Trust me. I have done better with letting go of some of the hurt and pain. I tell people to let go and give it to God. Is it hypocritical for me to say that and not do it? Maybe. But, it's a true statement and something that I must do. But we aren't called to do it alone. First, I have a Father who does love me and does care. Secondly, I have a wife who loves me and supports me. Next, I have a small close knit group of friends I vent to and know pray for me, and last but not least, I have a church that is full of sinners and hypocrites that are struggling along with me. But that church is full of grace, and love, and respect, and patience, and comedians, and friends, and there is power in numbers.
I don't want to have to keep writing a blog about how crappy my growing up was. It was crappy, so let's move on, Clouse. I want to write about Freedom and about Forgiveness and about what Christ is doing and will do. But I write this to tell you if you haven't forgiven someone, I understand. It can take time. My dad has been dead for almost 14 years now, and I still struggle. My mom is still alive, and I still struggle with forgiving her. I hold on to the unforgivness like it's a pet or something. We MUST forgive. We are CALLED to forgive. I'll pray for you and you pray for me. There is power in numbers.
In Him,
Clouse
Monday, February 3, 2014
(Insert Witty Comment Here)
Why have a blog if I don't post anything to it? Well, because. That's why. Actually, the real reason is that I don't know why. It's not because I have a lack of ideas or thoughts. Some of those ideas and thoughts may actually be thought provoking. Maybe it's because I am a husband and a father of two kids under the age of 8. Any parent out there knows what I mean by that. You come home after a hard day of work, and as soon as you walk through that door, your kids are vying for your attention and wanting to play. That's when you brain starts to scream, "Stop thinking. Just go lie down. You know you want to." Oh, and you think my job is tough? My wife is a "stay at home mom". Translation? That means she is a Saint. God touched my wife on the head and blessed her with patience that knows no bounds. Trust me on this because she is also married to me which means she has an abundance of patience.
Now, I don't have anything really interesting to say tonight. Maybe it's because when the kids start their bedtime ritual, my mind starts to think "FREEEDDOOOM!" It's like William Wallace all up in this house but with Duck Dynasty reruns playing on the TV in the background. Now, don't get the wrong idea. I love my kids. I love them a lot. But there are days that I count down to bedtime. I'm sure many parents have felt like this from time to time.
This is the first post of 2014. I figured I better start the year off right, on Feb. 3. Besides, some people at work have been creeping around my blog so I decided to write a little something something for them.
In Him,
Jimmy
Now, I don't have anything really interesting to say tonight. Maybe it's because when the kids start their bedtime ritual, my mind starts to think "FREEEDDOOOM!" It's like William Wallace all up in this house but with Duck Dynasty reruns playing on the TV in the background. Now, don't get the wrong idea. I love my kids. I love them a lot. But there are days that I count down to bedtime. I'm sure many parents have felt like this from time to time.
This is the first post of 2014. I figured I better start the year off right, on Feb. 3. Besides, some people at work have been creeping around my blog so I decided to write a little something something for them.
In Him,
Jimmy
Friday, September 20, 2013
Let's get real.
I can easily hide behind a blog or a Facebook status. I am very outgoing..with people I know. It's like a chess match when I meet you. I am already doing a few things. I am looking for the nearest exit or I'm waiting to see if you can surprise me by saying something witty. Chances are that you are not, so I'm bailing. Me and my lovely bride have been together for nearly 8 years and it just dawned on her that I am an Introvert of sorts. She is quite opposite. We like to keep up with the old saying that opposites attract. My wife enjoys meeting new people and conversing with people she just met. I, on the other hand, consider it a beating. I am cordial, or at least I think I am before I get the debriefing later on from my wife. I am 100% certain that all couples receive a debriefing once they are away from the people they just met. I am certain that couples have left my presence and have asked themselves, "What just happened?" I don't get nervous speaking to big crowds, or giving a presentation to a room of Managers, or even speaking my mind to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I have shared my testimony to a handful of churches, and I don't mind keeping to myself. I say that I could be happy on an Island, just as long as I could bring my wife. I once asked my wife how she would like to live in England while I worked as an Air Traffic Controller. She asked me for how long and my response to her was "Forever." She didn't like that idea very much.
I have prayed many, many, many times for the strength to forgive. My dad has been dead for over 13 years, and I still struggle forgiving him for the stuff he did. What's up with that? Me and my wife raised my sisters son for over a year, and I had to go to court in Virginia about the whole ordeal. The court granted my sister a second chance, but it was more like the 20th chance. We sent him packing, placed him on a plane, and watched my daughter cry and cry on our drive home. I was depressed for about 2 weeks, and guess what? I still haven't forgiven her, nor have I spoken to her since then. Harsh? Sure. Right? Probably not. I'm sure some of you struggle with forgiving others too, and I want you to know that I'm right there with you. I also struggle with guilt. If I make a mistake while raising our children, I let it eat at me until I over analyze it and try to make it better. The same thing will happen if I upset my wife. However, if I upset someone else, I brush it off and never think about it again. Now that is strange, am I right?
I am not perfect, but I do love Jesus. At least I haven't killed a man, so I can get his wife and knock her up like King David did. And God still said that David was a "Man after [Gods] own heart." That is what gets me through some rough spots when the shadows of my past try to bring me down. Some of you don't know that there is a battle going on right now over you. There are only 2 places you go when you die...Heaven or Hell. And there is a battle going on right now over your soul. Kind of mind blowing, isn't it? I mean, really. Come on now. That's crazy talk. Well, it isn't. Have you been somewhere and had a crazy thought run through your head and if you ever told someone about it you'd probably wind up in jail or a crazy house? Ever been hit by guilt that it has almost taken your breath away? Ever lose your mind and yell and hurt someone you have loved? Has envy crept up on you like a shadow? Ever get jealous because someone has a bigger house, a nicer car, a better job, better clothes, closer friends, a better vacation than you have? Ever look at some church members and in your mind knocked them down so low in order to make yourself feel good? Have you tried to compare yourself to the Super Parents who appear to have it all together? Have you feared stepping out in faith?
I'm not a perfect parent, a husband, or friend. My parenting style is one of "Let them get hurt. They'll learn." This is just an example of why a mom and dad are important. My wife is a mother and a comforter, meaning that if the kids run to her, she will comfort them and make them do it again. My kids will fall and hurt themselves and bleed and run to mommy to get fixed and bandaged up. If mommy isn't around, they know they better get up and rub some dirt on it, because ain't no one got time for that. I can also see the difference from girl children to boy children. My daughter is super smart. Sometimes, when you speak to her, you forget she is a child. She is very articulate, neat, clean and for the most part she is proper. She is a deep thinker and an analyzer. Then comes my son. He is nothing like that. He eats anything. Dirt, rocks, grass. If I don't pick up that dog poop quick enough in the back yard, he will gravitate towards it and wants to play in it. If my daughter builds a work of art out of blocks, the boy will take on the role of Godzilla. He runs into walls, he randomly hits his head, and all he thinks about is cars, football, baseball, basketball, and superheros. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I believe that boy children only have 2 brain cells. The "Do the right thing" cell, and the "Do the wrong thing" cell. I'm 33 and I know that these 2 brain cells will creep up every now and then and take over all other senses. Don't get me wrong, I love each one of my kids equally. Like I told my daughter, I don't love my right arm more than my left arm. I love them equally.
I have a love/hate relationship going on with Texas right now and it is base solely on Weather. I love Texas from about October to May. I hate Texas from June-September. Have you ever seen something spontaneously combust? I have. I have seen birds and cars and humans burst into flames in the middle of Summer of Texas. If the temps were Highs in the 80's and Lows in the uppers 50's-Low 60's year 'round, that would make me very happy. I miss the beach. But have zero desire of going back to Va. Beach. ZERO.
People who grew up in one place and happen to still live there confuses me. But that's because I left for the military as soon as I could. I know that those who stay have a good relationship with their family, and that probably makes it easy for them. When I am around family, I have a BEST BY date attached to me, and it isn't that long. When I was stationed in Germany, I wanted to live as far away from Base as I could so I could enjoy and learn the culture. I consider those that whine because they live 300 miles away from family a big cry baby. I want to make the crying sound...waa, waa...and tell them to man up. Dudes I went through Boot Camp with cried in their bunks at night because they were away from their family, and it annoyed me. One, because they woke me up, and Two, these were dudes that were suppose to look danger in the face and fight. There are some things I miss about the military, like never having to worry about what to wear since I had to wear BDU''s all the time, and the structure and toughness of the military. Civilians confuse me and they whine and feel entitled. What makes you feel entitled? Would you be willing to take a bullet for this great country?
Here's something that I really like to banter with church folk about. The Sabbath Day. What day is the Sabbath Day? Some have actually said I shouldn't work on Sunday. Where in the Bible does it say that the Sabbath in on Sunday? I know that God rested on the 7th day. What if you're Sunday is actually on Wednesday? I know that there were men in the military in the Bible. What if they were fighting on Sunday and Monday was there day off? Anyways, that's just a rabbit hole I went down. There are other things that "Religious" people will try to argue. But it's not about Religion, it's about having a Relationship with Christ. Go sell that Religion stuff somewhere else.
I guess in all of this, I just wanted to say that I had no direction for this Blog post. I just wanted to write something, and if you happened to read all of it, then God Bless your soul. This may be 5 minutes of reading that you'll never get back in your life. And that makes me giggle a little bit. Just be real. Don't try to be like that parent who you think has it all together, because I'm here to tell you, they don't. I can't be 100% certain, but I'm willing to bet your paycheck on it. Don't believe what everyone posts on Facebook. Hardly anyone posts the bad stuff on Facebook. Maybe I should create a website and call it Dramabook, where all "To good to be true" Facebook posts are sucked up into the Vortex of Happiness. Don't be afraid to apologize and ask for forgiveness. It's a humbling experience to ask your child to forgive you. Don't give up if you're struggling to forgive. Heck, I still struggle, but I don't give up in prayer and and changing my attitude. Don't be afraid to fail, and Don't yell at your kids for making a mistake. They are just kids. And if you have a boy child....I wish you luck because you will need a special strength from God. Be real, because you don't want the Pastor to lie about your life when you die.
The Clouse....who has more to say, but I suddenly got bored. And PS: I didn't proof read this, so all grammar and writing mistakes are legit.
I have prayed many, many, many times for the strength to forgive. My dad has been dead for over 13 years, and I still struggle forgiving him for the stuff he did. What's up with that? Me and my wife raised my sisters son for over a year, and I had to go to court in Virginia about the whole ordeal. The court granted my sister a second chance, but it was more like the 20th chance. We sent him packing, placed him on a plane, and watched my daughter cry and cry on our drive home. I was depressed for about 2 weeks, and guess what? I still haven't forgiven her, nor have I spoken to her since then. Harsh? Sure. Right? Probably not. I'm sure some of you struggle with forgiving others too, and I want you to know that I'm right there with you. I also struggle with guilt. If I make a mistake while raising our children, I let it eat at me until I over analyze it and try to make it better. The same thing will happen if I upset my wife. However, if I upset someone else, I brush it off and never think about it again. Now that is strange, am I right?
I am not perfect, but I do love Jesus. At least I haven't killed a man, so I can get his wife and knock her up like King David did. And God still said that David was a "Man after [Gods] own heart." That is what gets me through some rough spots when the shadows of my past try to bring me down. Some of you don't know that there is a battle going on right now over you. There are only 2 places you go when you die...Heaven or Hell. And there is a battle going on right now over your soul. Kind of mind blowing, isn't it? I mean, really. Come on now. That's crazy talk. Well, it isn't. Have you been somewhere and had a crazy thought run through your head and if you ever told someone about it you'd probably wind up in jail or a crazy house? Ever been hit by guilt that it has almost taken your breath away? Ever lose your mind and yell and hurt someone you have loved? Has envy crept up on you like a shadow? Ever get jealous because someone has a bigger house, a nicer car, a better job, better clothes, closer friends, a better vacation than you have? Ever look at some church members and in your mind knocked them down so low in order to make yourself feel good? Have you tried to compare yourself to the Super Parents who appear to have it all together? Have you feared stepping out in faith?
I'm not a perfect parent, a husband, or friend. My parenting style is one of "Let them get hurt. They'll learn." This is just an example of why a mom and dad are important. My wife is a mother and a comforter, meaning that if the kids run to her, she will comfort them and make them do it again. My kids will fall and hurt themselves and bleed and run to mommy to get fixed and bandaged up. If mommy isn't around, they know they better get up and rub some dirt on it, because ain't no one got time for that. I can also see the difference from girl children to boy children. My daughter is super smart. Sometimes, when you speak to her, you forget she is a child. She is very articulate, neat, clean and for the most part she is proper. She is a deep thinker and an analyzer. Then comes my son. He is nothing like that. He eats anything. Dirt, rocks, grass. If I don't pick up that dog poop quick enough in the back yard, he will gravitate towards it and wants to play in it. If my daughter builds a work of art out of blocks, the boy will take on the role of Godzilla. He runs into walls, he randomly hits his head, and all he thinks about is cars, football, baseball, basketball, and superheros. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I believe that boy children only have 2 brain cells. The "Do the right thing" cell, and the "Do the wrong thing" cell. I'm 33 and I know that these 2 brain cells will creep up every now and then and take over all other senses. Don't get me wrong, I love each one of my kids equally. Like I told my daughter, I don't love my right arm more than my left arm. I love them equally.
I have a love/hate relationship going on with Texas right now and it is base solely on Weather. I love Texas from about October to May. I hate Texas from June-September. Have you ever seen something spontaneously combust? I have. I have seen birds and cars and humans burst into flames in the middle of Summer of Texas. If the temps were Highs in the 80's and Lows in the uppers 50's-Low 60's year 'round, that would make me very happy. I miss the beach. But have zero desire of going back to Va. Beach. ZERO.
People who grew up in one place and happen to still live there confuses me. But that's because I left for the military as soon as I could. I know that those who stay have a good relationship with their family, and that probably makes it easy for them. When I am around family, I have a BEST BY date attached to me, and it isn't that long. When I was stationed in Germany, I wanted to live as far away from Base as I could so I could enjoy and learn the culture. I consider those that whine because they live 300 miles away from family a big cry baby. I want to make the crying sound...waa, waa...and tell them to man up. Dudes I went through Boot Camp with cried in their bunks at night because they were away from their family, and it annoyed me. One, because they woke me up, and Two, these were dudes that were suppose to look danger in the face and fight. There are some things I miss about the military, like never having to worry about what to wear since I had to wear BDU''s all the time, and the structure and toughness of the military. Civilians confuse me and they whine and feel entitled. What makes you feel entitled? Would you be willing to take a bullet for this great country?
Here's something that I really like to banter with church folk about. The Sabbath Day. What day is the Sabbath Day? Some have actually said I shouldn't work on Sunday. Where in the Bible does it say that the Sabbath in on Sunday? I know that God rested on the 7th day. What if you're Sunday is actually on Wednesday? I know that there were men in the military in the Bible. What if they were fighting on Sunday and Monday was there day off? Anyways, that's just a rabbit hole I went down. There are other things that "Religious" people will try to argue. But it's not about Religion, it's about having a Relationship with Christ. Go sell that Religion stuff somewhere else.
I guess in all of this, I just wanted to say that I had no direction for this Blog post. I just wanted to write something, and if you happened to read all of it, then God Bless your soul. This may be 5 minutes of reading that you'll never get back in your life. And that makes me giggle a little bit. Just be real. Don't try to be like that parent who you think has it all together, because I'm here to tell you, they don't. I can't be 100% certain, but I'm willing to bet your paycheck on it. Don't believe what everyone posts on Facebook. Hardly anyone posts the bad stuff on Facebook. Maybe I should create a website and call it Dramabook, where all "To good to be true" Facebook posts are sucked up into the Vortex of Happiness. Don't be afraid to apologize and ask for forgiveness. It's a humbling experience to ask your child to forgive you. Don't give up if you're struggling to forgive. Heck, I still struggle, but I don't give up in prayer and and changing my attitude. Don't be afraid to fail, and Don't yell at your kids for making a mistake. They are just kids. And if you have a boy child....I wish you luck because you will need a special strength from God. Be real, because you don't want the Pastor to lie about your life when you die.
The Clouse....who has more to say, but I suddenly got bored. And PS: I didn't proof read this, so all grammar and writing mistakes are legit.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
The loss of life. How do we respond?
I am by no means an expert on death. However, I feel led to write this blog for a special young lady that is close to mine and Miriam's heart, as well as our kids. This young lady I speak of has already experienced losing people that she knew and that she adored.
Suffering, in many ways, remains a mystery, one that we will never
fully understand this side of eternity. We can, however, glean these
truths from God's Word:
Ecclesiastes 1:9
New International Version (NIV)
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
My family doesn't really talk about the "skeletons" in the closet. I suppose not many people do. I only speak of the skeletons to help people and not to seek sympathy. Plus, as my wife will attest to, I am very guarded. I constantly have my defenses up. I calculate almost everything I do. I guess that's just a trait I learned as an Air Traffic Controller. Who knows. I try not to be that way around her, but I fail miserably. I know my faults and try to change them.
When I was 12 years old and living in the Tidewater area of Virginia, my family got a phone call. My Grandfather had murdered my Grandmother and my Uncle in Colorado. We don't know why my Grandfather snapped, but what I do know is the pain of loss I felt. I will never know the same pain my cousins felt in losing their dad until years later.
When I was 12 years old and living in the Tidewater area of Virginia, my family got a phone call. My Grandfather had murdered my Grandmother and my Uncle in Colorado. We don't know why my Grandfather snapped, but what I do know is the pain of loss I felt. I will never know the same pain my cousins felt in losing their dad until years later.
When I was 15-16 years old, my dads mom, my Grandmother, took her last breathe minutes before we arrived at her house to say our "Good-bye's". She lost her battle with cancer and it was tough seeing her become frail and weak. The numbness I felt would be there for some time. I was close to my Grandmother and my dads dad, my Grandfather Jack. I spent most Summers at their house, cleaning and doing yard work, and doing whatever job my Grandfather would find for me to do.
And last, but surely not least, I lost my dad when I was 20 years old. The last time I saw my dad alive I was 18 years old. This will not be the last time I see death in my lifetime, but there was always a nagging question. Why?
-
Suffering produces intimacy with God (Job 42:5).
Job, who endured unspeakable suffering, said, "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
Intimacy with God is often borne in the furnace of affliction.
"There's an opening of the soul that happens during times of stress or duress," says Dr. Hager, an associate minister in the Washington D.C. area.
"During times of suffering, we experience God at a deep, profound level." -
Suffering equips us to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
Suffering gives us compassion for others who are hurting, enabling us to minister more effectively.
"Sufferers want to be ministered to by people who have suffered," writes Stephen F. Saint in his essay, "Sovereignty, Suffering, and the Work of Missions."
"People who suffer want people who have suffered to tell them there is hope. They are justifiably suspicious of people who appear to have lived lives of ease." Those who have suffered make the most effective comforters.
-
Suffering refines us.
We can read in Isaiah 48:10 that "…I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."
The meaning of this verse makes it clear that pain and suffering have a way of bringing our strengths and weaknesses to the surface. When the dross floats to the surface, God skims it off; he purifies and refines us to be the radiant bride of Christ.
-
Suffering produces growth and maturity (James 1:2-4).
If we turn toward God in our pain, He can use our suffering to mature our faith. We see this biblical truth illustrated through the persecuted church. After hearing their testimonies, few would deny that suffering produces beauty and maturity of spirit.
-
Suffering conforms us into God's image (Romans 8:28-29).
We may be tempted to read these verses to say that God will bring good out of everything. While He can and does redeem pain in our lives, these verses speak of being conformed to God's image through our suffering.
I have felt the pain of what I would consider Hell itself. You may or may not have suffered loss the way I have, but it doesn't mean that the pain you feel is not real. We don't understand why God allows the things He does to happen. I do know that when sin entered the world, so did death. The pain will go away, and the saying "time heals all wounds" is pretty accurate. I encourage you to the read the book of Ecclesiastes. There is profound wisdom in that Book. Please pray for those who have lost someone close. As believers, we can celebrate their life and have comfort knowing that one day we WILL see them again. Right now those believers are in Heaven. Amen!
In Him,
The Clouse
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Make your own family. Key ingredients: God, Water, Love, and Sarcasm. Mix well. Serve chilled.
As an Air Traffic Controller, we tend to miss a lot of important events. We work rotating shift work. We work Weekends and Holidays. We miss the Thanksgiving dinner and we miss the Christmas morning madness. Many of us are Veterans and know what it's like from our time in the service. But like those who serve in our military, Controllers chose to do this job. We knew what were signing up for. We miss parties, graduations, weddings, funerals and church. We miss working those "normal" hours where it's not such a beating on our families and our bodies. Many of us still struggle to get into a routine of working out because we are just plain exhausted at weeks end. Many of us also live away from families. However, not many share my story.
I was 12 years old when I was introduced to Air Traffic Control and I knew then that that was the job I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I was also in a hurry to get away from home. I needed to get away from an abusive and alcoholic dad and a mom who it's hard for me to explain in words the type of person she is. I love my mom, because she brought me into this world. My dad died when I was 20 years old but the last time I saw him I was 18 or 19 years old him before seeing him the casket. All I remember is that I was in Air Traffic Control school at Keesler Air Force Base, Biloxi, Mississippi and I was there from Nov. '98- April '99. I had already cut ties in my mind with my mom and dad because I was free from abuse and free from exasperation.
I am now 33 years old with a family of my own an I have a wife who desperately longs for "family." She is close to her family, while I don't rely on anyone to get me through. However, I am starting to realize the affects a family can have on my kids. Living in the great state of Texas, and away from family makes me aware that I don't want my kids to be anything like me. And this is where God comes in. Growing up in Norfolk and finding any means to get to church at First Baptist Church, Norfolk, God allowed a young married couple to come into my life. I still tell the story today to youth that getting to know the names of those around you and introducing yourself to new people who visit your church or Sunday School is very, very important. That's what Greg did. He took the time to know my name. He took the time to learn who this young, teenage punk kid was. I was blessed enough that Greg had someone smarter than him to help him. His wife, Vicki.
After graduating High School and joining the Air Force, and with Greg and Vicki moving, I didn't give anything or anyone a second thought. I was free from Norfolk. Though the Tidewater area may be a nice place, in my mind I wanted nothing to do with it. It wasn't until a chance "Friend Request" on Facebook that Miriam an I learned that Greg, Vicki, and their daughter Katie lived just mere minutes from us. Here. In Texas. Of all the places, and all the locations, they lived close by us. And this is where God uses his large mixing bowl and throws in some water, love and sarcasm. They make up a family. Katie is a little sister who I remember as a baby no older than my son is now. I harass her like an older brother would and I am very protective of her. I refer to Greg as Dad and Vicki as Mom. My kids call them Mimi and Apple. I don't know how Greg got stuck with the name Apple, but it has stuck and that's what they call him. Proverbs 18:24 says "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." This is very important to learn and to meditate on.
Me and Miriam have also been blessed with great friends. I have tons of friends, but only a few whom I can truly be real with. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says "If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." That hit me pretty hard, because I was constantly running solo. I didn't need anyone. When I fell, I picked myself up, which only contributed to my heart being hardened. I obtained my college education on my own. I am not a perfect man, nor am I a bible scholar, but I do love God with all my heart. Just like King David. But unlike David, I haven't killed anyone. I continue to fall and stumble, but I now have "friends" and "family" I can turn to. I have D, Jason, Cus, Scott, Gift and Fowler that God placed in my life. Different dudes, with different ways of living life, but whom I consider my core group. God has placed women in Miriam's life whom I consider sisters from another mister. One of those being Anna. She's about as crazy as they come and I swear one day she will drive head on into me and I will have to make a choice. Drive off a cliff or brace for impact. But she too is like a sister. I'll stab a person who jacks with her or anyone else I consider family. I kid, I kid. But seriously.
God has mixed in love in my life, and that love of my life is the one person who really, really knows me. She knows how jacked up I am. She knows all my jokes and will finish them before I can. She is the only woman who will put up with my crap, and the strongest woman I know. Miriam has MS, stays home with our children, whom probably should be placed in a Zoo at times, and is still the hottest woman I know. No, she is not standing behind me while I type that. Putting up with me is enough, but throw all that in and she is Wonder Woman. Proverbs 31:10 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Without Miriam in my life, I am nothing, and God knows this. Yes yes yes, I know God is the most important being in my life, so you can save yourself the trouble of counseling me.
God is smarter than me. God knew the steps I would take and placed people along my path to help me. I didn't do all those things. I mean, I did, but not with help from the Man upstairs. If all of us just take a few minutes to replay our life, you'll see where God was the whole time. Think about your growing up. Think about your friends, or that marriage, or that divorce. Think about the job you have, the job you've lost, the money you have and the money you've made. Think about the good times and the bad times. It's not easy to think of God being in those bad times, but look at the story of Job's life. I can see God in the midst of all the bad times in my life. With the gun in my hand, to the murders in my family, to the miscarriage my wife had, to the job I have now. I see God now, but it's never easy to see God in the bad times. Hindsight is always 20/20.
I encourage you all to make your own "family" if you're not close to yours. It takes some time and effort, but a great meal usually tastes better when you take your time and don't rush. Think of it like a Crock-pot meal. That's why they refer to it as "Slow Cookin'".
In Him,
The Clouse
I was 12 years old when I was introduced to Air Traffic Control and I knew then that that was the job I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I was also in a hurry to get away from home. I needed to get away from an abusive and alcoholic dad and a mom who it's hard for me to explain in words the type of person she is. I love my mom, because she brought me into this world. My dad died when I was 20 years old but the last time I saw him I was 18 or 19 years old him before seeing him the casket. All I remember is that I was in Air Traffic Control school at Keesler Air Force Base, Biloxi, Mississippi and I was there from Nov. '98- April '99. I had already cut ties in my mind with my mom and dad because I was free from abuse and free from exasperation.
I am now 33 years old with a family of my own an I have a wife who desperately longs for "family." She is close to her family, while I don't rely on anyone to get me through. However, I am starting to realize the affects a family can have on my kids. Living in the great state of Texas, and away from family makes me aware that I don't want my kids to be anything like me. And this is where God comes in. Growing up in Norfolk and finding any means to get to church at First Baptist Church, Norfolk, God allowed a young married couple to come into my life. I still tell the story today to youth that getting to know the names of those around you and introducing yourself to new people who visit your church or Sunday School is very, very important. That's what Greg did. He took the time to know my name. He took the time to learn who this young, teenage punk kid was. I was blessed enough that Greg had someone smarter than him to help him. His wife, Vicki.
After graduating High School and joining the Air Force, and with Greg and Vicki moving, I didn't give anything or anyone a second thought. I was free from Norfolk. Though the Tidewater area may be a nice place, in my mind I wanted nothing to do with it. It wasn't until a chance "Friend Request" on Facebook that Miriam an I learned that Greg, Vicki, and their daughter Katie lived just mere minutes from us. Here. In Texas. Of all the places, and all the locations, they lived close by us. And this is where God uses his large mixing bowl and throws in some water, love and sarcasm. They make up a family. Katie is a little sister who I remember as a baby no older than my son is now. I harass her like an older brother would and I am very protective of her. I refer to Greg as Dad and Vicki as Mom. My kids call them Mimi and Apple. I don't know how Greg got stuck with the name Apple, but it has stuck and that's what they call him. Proverbs 18:24 says "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." This is very important to learn and to meditate on.
Me and Miriam have also been blessed with great friends. I have tons of friends, but only a few whom I can truly be real with. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says "If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." That hit me pretty hard, because I was constantly running solo. I didn't need anyone. When I fell, I picked myself up, which only contributed to my heart being hardened. I obtained my college education on my own. I am not a perfect man, nor am I a bible scholar, but I do love God with all my heart. Just like King David. But unlike David, I haven't killed anyone. I continue to fall and stumble, but I now have "friends" and "family" I can turn to. I have D, Jason, Cus, Scott, Gift and Fowler that God placed in my life. Different dudes, with different ways of living life, but whom I consider my core group. God has placed women in Miriam's life whom I consider sisters from another mister. One of those being Anna. She's about as crazy as they come and I swear one day she will drive head on into me and I will have to make a choice. Drive off a cliff or brace for impact. But she too is like a sister. I'll stab a person who jacks with her or anyone else I consider family. I kid, I kid. But seriously.
God has mixed in love in my life, and that love of my life is the one person who really, really knows me. She knows how jacked up I am. She knows all my jokes and will finish them before I can. She is the only woman who will put up with my crap, and the strongest woman I know. Miriam has MS, stays home with our children, whom probably should be placed in a Zoo at times, and is still the hottest woman I know. No, she is not standing behind me while I type that. Putting up with me is enough, but throw all that in and she is Wonder Woman. Proverbs 31:10 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Without Miriam in my life, I am nothing, and God knows this. Yes yes yes, I know God is the most important being in my life, so you can save yourself the trouble of counseling me.
God is smarter than me. God knew the steps I would take and placed people along my path to help me. I didn't do all those things. I mean, I did, but not with help from the Man upstairs. If all of us just take a few minutes to replay our life, you'll see where God was the whole time. Think about your growing up. Think about your friends, or that marriage, or that divorce. Think about the job you have, the job you've lost, the money you have and the money you've made. Think about the good times and the bad times. It's not easy to think of God being in those bad times, but look at the story of Job's life. I can see God in the midst of all the bad times in my life. With the gun in my hand, to the murders in my family, to the miscarriage my wife had, to the job I have now. I see God now, but it's never easy to see God in the bad times. Hindsight is always 20/20.
I encourage you all to make your own "family" if you're not close to yours. It takes some time and effort, but a great meal usually tastes better when you take your time and don't rush. Think of it like a Crock-pot meal. That's why they refer to it as "Slow Cookin'".
In Him,
The Clouse
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)