Advice for my daughter

  This is for my little princess, who will one day find this blog when she is older and hopefully gain some insight from these few nuggets of wisdom. 

• Remember to laugh.  When life around you is falling apart and you can't imagine it being any worse, just Laugh.  And of course, seek God in everything you do. 
• Every morning when you wake up, Thank God for another day that He has placed air in your lungs.
• You can do anything in life, you can be anything in life, you can accomplish anything in life.  You are a strong, smart, talented and beautiful girl.
• DO NOT get involved with a boy who thinks it is ok to lay his hands on you in anger.  I'm still your father and I will never be to old to educate an abusive man.
• DO NOT get involved with a boy who thinks it it ok to get drunk.
• You will one day experience a broken heart from a stupid boy, but remember that there is one who will never leave you and that is Jesus.  You will always have the love of your mama and me, but Jesus will be with you when we can't be.
• You are who you hang out with.  You'll hear this many many times before you find this blog, but it's true.  So surround yourself with Godly women and women whom you would want to be like.
• "No" is an answer.
• Having 700 friends on Facebook or whatever the next popular social network platform may be does not mean you really have 700 friends.  A friend is someone you can call at 2 a.m. and cry with or ask for help.  Therefore that 700 will probably be dwindled down to 3.
• Find a good church home that will help you learn and grow while at the same time contributing to the church, whether it be your time, prayers, or money.  And do not think that you will not be hurt in church.  You will be.  But learn and grown from it.
• Debt is dumb.  No matter how pushy a company can be or how great the deal sounds, believe me, it isn't a good deal.  Debt is dumb.
• Learn from me and your mama.  Learn from the good we do and learn from the bad we do.  Learn from others mistakes and learn from the good choices others make.  You can always learn, even if it's from a bad example.
• It's ok to be called Nerd or Geek.  That just means you are doing something right.
• It's ok to stand up for yourself but it's not ok to be bullied.  Violence is not the answer, but you must be ready to defend yourself if you must.  Don't worry.  By the time you get to this "bullet", hopefully you'll learn from me how to appropriately apply this.
• It's ok for you to like the Texas Rangers, and it's ok for me to like the New York Yankees.  It is NOT ok to like the Boston Red Sox. Ever.  
• Garbage in, Garbage out.
• One day you'll tell me that you hate me or that you hate your mama.  One day you'll tell me you can't wait to be 18 years old and leave the house.  One day you'll also thank me and your mama for how "strict" you thought we were.  And we really do know you love us no matter what you say
• Always be ready to volunteer to help those who are less fortunate than you.  Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen or participate in a food drive.  Don't wait for someone else to volunteer, because if not you then who?  If not now, then when?
• Respect the American Flag.  Stand during the National Anthem.  Men and Women have died for your freedom.
• Never let money jeopardize your integrity.  It's better to be poor with integrity than to be rich with no integrity.  Always work as though you are working for God and do not be concerned by the mocking of lazy people.  Your hard work will be noticed by those around you and by God, but care more what God thinks then those around you.  Read the Book of Daniel to see what I mean.
• Choose reading a book over watching the TV.  Trust me on this one.  You'll thank me later. 
• Be wise with your money.  Tithe your money and invest your money.  Do not try to keep up with "Jone's".  Stay the course, and when you become an older woman you'll be debt free, with money to give away and to do nice things.  Again, you'll thank me later.
• Be a woman like your mama.  Your mama is a strong, beautiful and caring women.  Your mama will say be a better woman then she is, but I say be like your mama because in my eyes she is already perfect.
• Blood is thicker than water, but syrup is thicker than blood, therefore choose pancakes.  I kid, I kid.  Remember your roots and try to carve out some time for family.  If you don't, the enemy will try to use guilt to attack you.
• There is a battle going on for your soul everyday.  Be ready to go into battle, but remember that God has already won the war. 
• Spend some time every day with God by reading the bible and by praying.  Just like investing your money, consider this an investment in your spiritual life.
• Spend time in the gym, eat healthy and be active.  Just like investing your money and investing in your spiritual life, invest in your health.  You will want to enjoy your retirement by being healthy.
• Your brother is watching you, so be an example.  He is your best friend and he will want to hang out with you.  Consider this a blessing.
• Find a boy who is better then your daddy.  Find a man who is smarter and more Godly than me.  DO NOT believe what is in magazines or what is on TV.  Do not believe that you should follow your heart when it comes to "love".  That is stupid advice and those people are just trying to make money.  Use wisdom and you will know when that right man comes along. 
• This is important, so read this carefully.  The day some boy asks you to marry him, and IF you say yes, and IF we think that this boy is good enough for you, and IF you are walking down the aisle, and IF you do not think beyond a shadow of doubt that this is the man God has intended for you, it's ok to walk right up to me and tell me.  No matter how much money is spent on the wedding, and no matter how pressured you may feel, it's ok to walk away.  It's ok to feel a little embarrassed at that time then to spend the rest of your life with a man that is not right for you.  I would rather spend millions and millions of dollars for you to walk away then to spend millions and millions of dollars for you to go through a wedding and wind up with a boy who is wrong for you.  We will leave the palce together and probably grab a cup of coffee.
• Marriage is sacred, and vows are important.  It's not ok to give up on a marriage because it just "feels" right to give up.  For better or for worse is not just a cute saying, but something that is mandatory in all marriages. So fight for your marriage and seek God always.  Draw close to God first and drawing close to your husband will happen naturally.   
• Always tell your mama and brother that you love them.  Always hug them.  This will make their day.
• One day me and your mama will no longer be on this Earth with you, but remember always the teachings we have imparted on you and remember that no matter what, we will always Love You.

   This is by no means all you will learn from me and your mama, but these are reminders.  I have prayed for you, even before you were born, that you will become a Godly woman who will change the world.  Whether the world is just your home, your community, your school, or the world itself, I pray that you are a world changer.  I love you.

Love,
Daddy

To be a Yankee or not. That is the question. At least in my house.

   I love the Yankees.  I bleed Yankee blue and when I get to Heaven I will continue to bleed Yankee blue.  But what would you do if you're little princess comes to you and says she likes the Rangers too.  What?! Does my ears deceive me?  Yes, she said Rangers.  Something happened though.  I finally gave in and told her that it's OK for her to like the Rangers.  That it's OK to cheer for them because that's her home team.  I had to let go a little bit of my 5 year old daughter and let her spread her little wings from the grip of her daddy.  Did you notice that I said a little?  She's still 5 years old ya know.  At least she didn't approach me and said that she likes Boston.  That would be grounds of her being kicked out of the will.

  Today's event made me realize something.  This is where I bring it back to God.  God allows me to spread my wings.  He allows the freedom of choice, and I choose Christ.  Do I fall?  You have no idea how hard I can fall.  But I try.  I try to be a good dad like God is to me.  Whether Jurnee likes the Rangers, or the Yankees I will continue to love her unconditionally just like God loves me unconditionally.

This ain't your worldly Easter....

   What is the true meaning of Easter?  I can start by telling you what Easter isn't.  Easter is not Reese cups. Easter is not about Thumper running around hiding eggs for our kids to find.  Easter is not about a big ol' lunch or even watching baseball.  All those things are nice and whatnot, but it is not the real meaning of Easter.  I believe that we can get so wrapped up in all the other stuff that the meaning of Easter gets a little faded.  Sure, we'll pray and Thank God at lunch or dinner for God sending Jesus, but do we really know what that looks like?  I know that I can get the meaning of Easter all messed up at times.  I wish that when I write a blog that I can tell you all that I am so holy and amazing and that I walk the straight and narrow all the time, but that's not the case.  I like all the other stuff sometimes that by me writing a blog, it helps to keep me in check.  It helps me stay vigilant and stay the course. 

   Since I have been writing these blogs I have been in a constant battle with the enemy.  Satan will throw a couple of body shots my way to knock me down.  I have been finding it a struggle to get back into the battle at times, but I know for the sake of my family and myself that I must.  I know that the closer I draw to God the more distractions will be present.  The kids will get sick.  I will start to get sick and I haven't been sick in a long time.  The car will have issues or the baseball game will be on.  Petty disagreements with family and friends will arise or some sort of financial crisis will hit.  Just watch.  The more you cling to God and draw closer to him, the more the enemy will attack.  I acknowledge the fact that as a son of God that I have ultimately won the war and nowhere in the Bible does it say that being a believer was or is easy.  

   God sent His Son Jesus to walk among us over 2000 years ago.  Jesus walked this Earth and died for my sins because He loves me.  Because He loves you.  Jesus was beaten.  Jesus was whipped.  Jesus was punched, kicked, spit on, cursed at, and wore a crown of thorns.  For what?  Because He served those who were poor?  Who were sinners?  Jesus was an innocent man who showed love.  Jesus made a blind man see, made a lame man walk, and made a dead man alive again.  And for this He was nailed to a tree. Really?  How does that make you feel?  I'll be honest with you.  If I were Jesus, and if I was the one hanging on that cross, I would call all the Angels of Heaven down and destroy all my enemies.  And that's why I fall short.  Jesus did the opposite of how I feel.  Jesus prayed for these people and asked God to forgive them.  Jesus just hung there with the entire worlds sin on his shoulders so we can spend eternity in Heaven with Him.  He was the ultimate sacrifice.  

   Jesus was placed in the tomb and heavily armed guards stood watch to make sure Jesus' pals would not move the body and make him a martyr.  If Jesus died then that would be the end of this story.  But it's not.  Jesus rose from the tomb.  Let me rephrase this.  Jesus beat death.  Jesus beat death so we could spend eternity in Heaven.  That's the real meaning of Easter.  Jesus beat death.  Or as you may hear, He rose from the Grave.  Jesus is a stud and I am no Jesus.  I try to live by the example that Jesus modeled, but I fail at times.  But Jesus never fails and He has never failed me, no matter how stupid I can be or the stupid things I do.  Happy Easter everyone and why not do something calorie free and give thanks to Jesus that YOU didn't have to hang on a tree. 

April 1st. National Atheist Day

   The first time I saw that bumper sticker "April 1st.  National Atheist Day" I laughed and laughed and laughed.  But now the more I think about it the more it makes me a little sad.  I am friends with some pretty hardcore atheist's and I don't want them to wind up in Hell.  I have a t-shirt that says. "Friends Don't Let Friends Go To Hell." I try to witness to them but they just reject what I say.  They respect my right to believe in Christ, but they don't agree.  So instead of bible beating them, I try to do the next best thing.  I try to lead by example.  But I also try to be transparent to them.  I let them see me fail.  I let them get a glimpse of who I am.  But I also use wisdom in what I show them.  I am very good at showing people only what I want to show them.  Except my wife of course.  She sees right through me. There are some people who will try to hurt you and use what you give them against you.  So I just pray for wisdom when sharing with people I know.  I try to preach to people to be careful of who you air out your dirty laundry to.  Sometimes people don't want to be around the stink and then there are others who will use it as gossip.  I think that at times, in a church enviroment, we can be naive and use prayer requests as a form of gossip.  I'm sure there is not harm intended, but it can be the nature we breed. But I digress.

   Matthew 5 14-16 says,¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."  But what does that mean to you?  Me and my wife share that verse with our daughter at least once a day.  We want her to be fearless in sharing her faith and we want her to be an example in the world.  But for me, being a parent is one of the most humbling things in this world.  God will speak to me through my daughter, and my wife does a great job pointing out my inconsistencies when sharing life lessons with our daughter.  Sometimes I am the fool and it's not just on April 1st.  I believe that the majority of parents feel this way at times though.  I will tell my daughter that we need to pray for those who don't like us, or our enemies, but I struggle to do this.  And if I do, my prayers for my enemies aren't for their salvation, but for a punch in the eye.  I try to mold my daughter's heart into a Godly heart while mine is polluted.  My daughter is a better person than I am and she's not even 6 years old yet.  God continues to teach me and at times break me down by the words and actions of a child.  Thank God for my wife.  Thank God for my children and Thank God for the Cross. I know that me and my wife are a good balance for each other and for our kids, but it can sometimes be an eye opener for what's really going on in my heart.  But if God told us that King David was a man after God's own heart, then there is hope for me.

  To be an example I also have to prepare myself for battle.  Ephesians 6 10-18 is a great example of what I need to do to prepare myself.  If you don't know these verses they tell us to, "¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." 

  Being a veteran, I can visualize putting on the armor of God.  But did you notice that these verses said nothing about protecting your back?  In verse 14 it mentions the breastplate of righteousness, but never mentions anything about protecting the back.  Do you know why?  The early Roman military armor did not include that back protection and the only direction for them to go was forward.  Plowing right through the enemy.  That's what we need to do.  We need to keep pushing forward.  We need to keep pressing through the enemy and staying the course.  Joshua 1:9 says, "⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  So be strong, be the light and stay the course.

It's ok to cry and a little Fort Worth MS Walk

  I am not a big crier.  I shed a tear once when the Yankees lost a playoff series.  I shed a tear when John Elway retired.  I shed a tear during the 3 Superbowl loses of the Denver Broncos. I even shed a tear when my dad died.  But really cry?  I can only remember a few times.  The night on the beach when I was 17 and I gave my life to Christ and the other was when Miriam was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  Jurnee was about 14 months old and was running a high fever.  Miriam got a little scared when a friend suggested that the numbness that Miriam was experiencing could be a possible blood clot.  I tease Miriam that I told her for months to go to the Doctor, but after she talks to a girl friend we had to go to the Emergency Room.  Well, we went to the ER just a few days before Christmas 2007.  The ER doc wanted to run some tests and also an MRI.  We waited ad waited in the ER room for the results with poor Jurnee being sick.  The Doc came back and suggested we go see a Neurologist after the Holiday's.  The MRI showed a spot on Miriam's spine and brain.  It hit us pretty hard.  I tried to be strong, but I was weak on the inside.  We went to Church that next Sunday and I just broke down with a buddy/pastor at our church.  It was ok to cry.

  We have been raising money and participating in the MS walk since 2008.  I am proud to walk.  I am proud to fundraise and I am proud of Miriam.  Miriam is a trooper and one of the strongest women I know. She chases two kids around all day.  She gets a shot in her leg once a week, administered by me, and she keeps on going.  She hardly complains, and when she does complain about the heaviness in her legs and feet, it's just in passing.  She is tough, she is strong, but most of all she is loving and compassionate.  Miriam wants to help those more then she wants to help herself.  I am proud to call her my wife.  And that's why I fundraise.  I want to find a cure for this disease.

  The MS walk helps me to stay motivated.  A few years ago I ran the MS 5K.  While I was finishing up my run I noticed a group completing the 1 mile portion of the walk.  When I got closer, the group surrounded a person who was using a walker.  This person was moving slow and you could tell by his face that it was painful for him, but he would not give up.  He kept moving.  This man reminded me how important it is to keep moving.  To not give up.  To push through the pain even when it hurts.  This man had more strength and motivation than most people in this world.

  If you'd like to donate or just want to learn a little more about MS click HERE  The link will take you to my MS page.

The Eulogy but not a Lie

  God is still alive.  The Bible says that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Believing that, I still know that God still speaks to us through His word, through people and through dreams.  My dad died when I was 20 years old.  I still remember the events leading up to the moment I was told.  I was stationed at Altus AFB in Oklahoma.  It was April 19, 2000.  A Wednesday night.  I had an evening shift at work but requested about 2 hours off so I could attend church.  My best friend, D, was speaking that night since our Pastor was on vacation.  My buddy,  just separated from the Air Force and was working as a civilian on the base.  After church I headed back to work.  As soon as I got settled back in, I started to get the simulator ready to train my trainee.  My trainee came up to me and asked me if everything was ok.  I said yes and asked him why.  He told me that the First Sergeant, the Commander, and the Chaplain had been calling up at work.  I just laughed him off and said, "Sure glad it isn't about me."  I told my trainee we needed to get back to training.  Just then my buddy, who preached that night at church, and who was now a civilian, entered the RAPCON.  I didn't really pay any attention to it since I just saw him and since it hadn't been that long since he stopped working there.  About 10 minutes later the Assistant Chief Controller asked me to come into the office.

  The news just hung in the air after I was told my dad died.  We didn't know anything more since my dad was working for the Department of Defense in Italy.  My mom and sister were stateside because my baby sister had to get MedEvac'd back to the states because she had overdosed on some drugs.  My other sister was the one who found my dad dead on the bathroom floor and called for help.  She had just gotten back from a little trip to Amsterdam.  My grandfather, a retired Navy Master Chief, called the American Red Cross to have them break the news to me. I understand because all the emotions were raw.  My mom took an emotional beating because she was not there with my dad.  My sisters took an emotional beating because of all the events that surrounded his death.  And as for me, I was just numb.  I didn't know what to do, what to say or even what to feel.  The last time I saw my dad was when I was in Air Traffic School in Mississippi.  I was 18 years old.

   The Dream.  Before the news of my dads death I had a dream the weekend before.  In my dream my dad died of a virus.  I woke up suddenly, sweaty and my heart beating fast.  After I got my bearings I realized that it was only a dream.  I went back to bed and had the exact same dream.  It seemed so real that when I woke up I felt sad and empty on the inside.  I called my dad that morning.  He was in Italy and when he answered the phone I could tell he had been drinking.  I called my dad to tell him that I loved him and that I forgave him for the abuse and for everything.  He just laughed in a drunken manner and said he loved me too.  Three days later he was dead.  I believe in all my heart that God gave me that dream in order for me to call my dad and have that conversation with him.  I believe with all my heart that if my dad had died and I didn't talk to him and told him that I forgave him that I would have been more messed up than I was.

   My best friend, D, would't let me be alone in the dorm room that night and told me that I would be staying with him and his family.  I had to prepare for a trip to Va. Beach.  My dads body was being flown from Italy to Dover AFB and then down to Va. Beach.  I had to catch a flight, and I had two great friends, Steve and Angela that sacrificed their time to drive me to Tinker AFB in Oklahoma City so I could catch a military flight.  Needless to say, the first plane never landed at Tinker.  It just kept on flying to Va.  The only other ride I could get was on a C-5 and that plane was going to Dover.  I had no choice but to take it.  Before I left, D had prayed with me and told me to read the book of Ecclesiastes.  That was the best advice I could have received at the time.  I read that book in the bible...twice.  If you just lost someone, or just going through a rough spot in life, I plead with you to read Ecclesiastes.

  When I arrived at Dover I met my mom, sister, and my Uncle.  It was a rough homecoming.  It was awkward and I was still numb.  The next morning I was asked to give the Eulogy.  But what do I say about a man, whom I grew to detest because of the way I was treated growing up even though I told him I forgave him?  What do I say about a man whom I hadn't seen or really spoken to for two years?  I prayed.  I prayed for guidance, strength, and wisdom. I didn't want to lie, but I also wanted to show love and mercy.  When I gave the eulogy I remember standing in front of everyone but I don't remember what was said.  I remember having written notes, but I don't remember what was on them.  I just know that what I said were words that God gave me, I honored my dad by not lying, but by speaking God's truth.



 

Time Management and a little bit of Baseball

   I don't think that it's a secret that I love Baseball.  Especially New York Yankee baseball.  I became a fan of the Yankees while growing up in Norfolk.  Before my Grandmother was murdered she would send me Yankee memorabilia.  Norfolk had a Triple A baseball team.  They were called the Tidewater Tides, now the Norfolk Tides.  The Major League Team affiliated with the Tides were the New York Mets.  Now my Grandmother, who lived in Denver, confused the Major League Team and sent me all Yankee items.  I still remember the Yankee "Piggy Bank" she sent me.  I miss that thing.

  My parents were not really big sports followers.  My dad never had time for such things, and my mom tried to follow Denver Bronco football.  So I grew up following Baseball and Football.  I loved Sports.  My old man could never figure out how I got so wrapped up into sports because he wasn't a big follower.  My Grandparents helped fuel my passion.  From the time I was about 8 years old I followed the Yankees.  I grew up watching guys like Dave Winfield, Chuck Knoblauch, and Don Mattingly.  I remember when Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera came into the league.  I LOVE YANKEE BASEBALL.  Maybe a little too much.

  What if?  What if I spent as much time reading my bible, studying the word, and even devoting some time with God that I do following baseball?  What if I turned off the MLB Network or ESPN long enough to be with God?  Ah Ha!!  That's the trick.  We tend to blame Satan for the wedge he puts between us and God.  And there is truth to that.  The enemy will do all he can do to distract us, to take our attention off God and onto other things.  We all have a choice.  God isn't a micro-manager.  If He were, he wouldn't have put the forbidden tree in the garden of Eden.  He placed it there to give us a choice.  To follow and obey Him, or not.  That's important to hear, because many many many people believe that being a Christian means adhering to strict rules.  That's like me saying that I'm a strict parent because I won't allow my daughter to play in the street.  We have that rule in place for her safety.  God has given us instructions for our safety, and if we don't follow Him we get burned and then we get upset at God.  Why?  It's not like we were tricked or didn't know better.  We know that drinking too much alcohol will cause us to be drunk.  We know that doing drugs will cause us to do stupid stuff.  We know that stealing is wrong.  We know that lying is wrong.  But if we do one of those things and something bad happens then we don't want to take responsibility for our own actions.

   There is something else I know.  WE. LIVE. IN. A. IMPERFECT. WORLD.  Sorry to be the one to break the news to you.  People die of cancer.  Babies die and people are taken from the world sooner than we expect them to.  You knew this too didn't you?  BUT....here's the kicker...GOD'S STILL IN CONTROL.  The enemy may try to make us stumble, the enemy may try to tempt you, and the enemy will lie to you.  Here's a lie that Satan tried to put in my mind when my dad died.  The enemy tried to make me feel like it was God's fault.  I began to believe that lie.  Another lie that the enemy put in my head was that my dad was in Hell.  Now, one thing that I learned over time is that I don't really know what kind of relationship that my dad had with Christ.  I was tempted to turn my back on God forever, but this is what 1 Corinthians 10:13 told me though, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God IS FAITHFUL, and He WILL NOT let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He WILL ALSO PROVIDE the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."  How did God provide for me you ask?  Glad you asked.  He provided a strong church family, a great friend, and a great support system.  Without those in place, only God knows where I would be today.


   In no way am I perfect.  I still stumble.  I still fall.  But I know that I am never alone.  The feeling that I may get at times that it's just me against the world is only a lie.  You see, when I die, I know where I will end up.  My body will be 6 feet under, but not my soul.  My body is only an Earth Tent like 2 Corinthians 5:1 says.  I need to do a better job with time management, and my prayer is that we all do a better job with that.  I pray that if you're reading this that you know where you're be when you die.