The loss of life. How do we respond?

  I am by no means an expert on death.  However, I feel led to write this blog for a special young lady that is close to mine and Miriam's heart, as well as our kids.  This young lady I speak of has already experienced losing people that she knew and that she adored.  

Ecclesiastes 1:9

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.

  My family doesn't really talk about the "skeletons" in the closet.  I suppose not many people do.  I only speak of the skeletons to help people and not to seek sympathy.  Plus, as my wife will attest to, I am very guarded.  I constantly have my defenses up.  I calculate almost everything I do.  I guess that's just a trait I learned as an Air Traffic Controller.  Who knows.  I try not to be that way around her, but I fail miserably.  I know my faults and try to change them.  

  When I was 12 years old and living in the Tidewater area of Virginia, my family got a phone call.  My Grandfather had murdered my Grandmother and my Uncle in Colorado.  We don't know why my Grandfather snapped, but what I do know is the pain of loss I felt.  I will never know the same pain my cousins felt in losing their dad until years later.  

  When I was 15-16 years old, my dads mom, my Grandmother, took her last breathe minutes before we arrived at her house to say our "Good-bye's".  She lost her battle with cancer and it was tough seeing her become frail and weak.  The numbness I felt would be there for some time.  I was close to my Grandmother and my dads dad, my Grandfather Jack.  I spent most Summers at their house, cleaning and doing yard work, and doing whatever job my Grandfather would find for me to do.  

  And last, but surely not least, I lost my dad when I was 20 years old.  The last time I saw my dad alive I was 18 years old.  This will not be the last time I see death in my lifetime, but there was always a nagging question.  Why?  

  Suffering, in many ways, remains a mystery, one that we will never fully understand this side of eternity. We can, however, glean these truths from God's Word:

• Suffering produces intimacy with God (Job 42:5).
  Job, who endured unspeakable suffering, said, "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
  Intimacy with God is often borne in the furnace of affliction.
  "There's an opening of the soul that happens during times of stress or duress," says Dr. Hager, an associate minister in the Washington D.C. area.
  "During times of suffering, we experience God at a deep, profound level."
• Suffering equips us to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
  Suffering gives us compassion for others who are hurting, enabling us to minister more effectively.
  "Sufferers want to be ministered to by people who have suffered," writes Stephen F. Saint in his essay, "Sovereignty, Suffering, and the Work of Missions."
  "People who suffer want people who have suffered to tell them there is hope. They are justifiably suspicious of people who appear to have lived lives of ease." Those who have suffered make the most effective comforters.
  
• Suffering refines us.
  We can read in Isaiah 48:10 that "…I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."
  The meaning of this verse makes it clear that pain and suffering have a way of bringing our strengths and weaknesses to the surface. When the dross floats to the surface, God skims it off; he purifies and refines us to be the radiant bride of Christ.
  
• Suffering produces growth and maturity (James 1:2-4).
  If we turn toward God in our pain, He can use our suffering to mature our faith. We see this biblical truth illustrated through the persecuted church. After hearing their testimonies, few would deny that suffering produces beauty and maturity of spirit.
  
• Suffering conforms us into God's image (Romans 8:28-29).
  We may be tempted to read these verses to say that God will bring good out of everything. While He can and does redeem pain in our lives, these verses speak of being conformed to God's image through our suffering.
  
  
  
  I have felt the pain of what I would consider Hell itself.  You may or may not have suffered loss the way I have, but it doesn't mean that the pain you feel is not real.  We don't understand why God allows the things He does to happen.  I do know that when sin entered the world, so did death.  The pain will go away, and the saying "time heals all wounds" is pretty accurate.  I encourage you to the read the book of Ecclesiastes.  There is profound wisdom in that Book.  Please pray for those who have lost someone close.  As believers, we can celebrate their life and have comfort knowing that one day we WILL see them again.  Right now those believers are in Heaven. Amen!
  
  In Him,
  The Clouse