What does Multiple Sclerosis mean? A quick google search defined multiple sclerosis as:
mul·ti·ple scle·ro·sis
noun
- a chronic, typically progressive disease involving damage to the sheaths of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, whose symptoms may include numbness, impairment of speech and of muscular coordination, blurred vision, and severe fatigue.
My lovely bride, Miriam, was diagnosed with MS close to Christmas and my birthday in 2007. She had been telling me for months that she had numbness from her waist down. I suggested that she go to the doctor after a few more complaints of numbness, but she decided to stop her birth control. She thought that her new prescription could be the cause of the numbness. She stopped the birth control and the numbness went away, but not for long. By this time I became callous to her complaints of numbness because it was the same old song and dance. Miriam would complain of numbness, I would suggest that she go see a Doctor, and around and around we went. It wasn’t until a Facebook message that Miriam had with her friend that convinced her to go to the Emergency Room. Her friend suggested that Miriam might have a blood clot and off we went to the ER with a 14 month old daughter whom had a fever and double ear infection.
When we arrived at the ER, the nurses began to get to work getting Miriam’s vitals. After Miriam changed into a hospital gown, they whisked her away for an MRI. I was beginning to feel frustrated because I had my daughter in my arms, she was burning up because of her ear infections, and my wife was being sent back for tests which I thought was a complete waste of time and a complete waste of a copay that we struggled to scrape up anyways. When Miriam returned to the room I could tell that she could sense my frustration. However, my frustration quickly turned to disbelief and shock when the Doctor entered the room with the MRI results. He informed us that the MRI showed that Miriam had a lesion on her brain. My first thought was cancer but I had no idea what a legion on the brain meant. The ER doctor told us to make an appointment with a Neurologist after the holidays but still did not tell us what was going on. After convincing the doctor to give me his opinion, he said that he thought Miriam had Multiple Sclerosis. My heart sank. I immediately began to feel guilt because I thought that Miriam was fine and we were wasting our time at the ER. I began to feel sad at the thought of losing my wife. I began to go through an array of emotions. The doctor sent us home with one instruction. Stay. Off. The. Internet. He didn’t want us to Google Multiple Sclerosis. We did anyways.
After our appointments at the turn of the calendar, and spinal tap, and MRI’s, I knew that I needed to do something. I needed to support my wife. I needed to let her know that I was not going anywhere and that I was going to be by her side until the day that I die. For sickness and in health. So I began to search the internet and landed upon the MS Society’s webpage. There was an MS Walk in Addison and I could participate by walking, raising money, and forming a team. We had a small group for our first MS Walk in 2008. I didn’t raise a lot of money, but I knew that the money that I did raise was going towards a great cause. Year after year I raised money and eventually formed my MS Team, MS Busters which I later changed to Kicking Asphalt. Usually it’s just my family and a few friends that participate in the walk and that’s ok with me. All I really want is their money and I tell them that. I just want to find a cure and I also want to bring awareness to this disease that has changed our lives.
But what does Multiple Sclerosis actually mean? It means that your life has changed. It means doctors appointments and medicines and needles. It means feeling fatigued. It means symptoms and tests. It means MRI’s. It means fighting the negative thoughts that creep into our minds. BUT Multiple Sclerosis also means family. It means togetherness. It means fun. It means MS Walks and MS Dinners. It means not fighting alone. It means shaving my head , painting it orange and wearing an orange tutu. It means that we will not be beat by MS. We will fight. We will bring awareness and We. Will. Win!
The House of Clouse, Team Kicking Asphalt, isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns. We have had a relapse. We have had days when the Summer heat zaps our energy. Notice that I keep saying “We”, because we are one. Unless we are at the mall of course, then she is on her own. But we have had our struggles. We have had questions. We have done our homework on which medicines were the best for our needs. We have surrounded ourselves with a solid church family and we have prayed. But most importantly, we have not given up.
I encourage each of you to become a trailblazer. Make the 2015-2016 fundraising year the best you have ever made it. Form a team, become a team captain, become the top fundraising team! Just joking. Be the second top fundraising team because I will continue to push Team Kicking Asphalt to be number 1. Become competitive during this fundraising year, but remember the number one goal is to find a cure. Raise just $100 more than you did in 2015. Invite one more person than you did in 2015.
I will not give up! I ask that you join me in making the 2015-2016 Fundraising year the best. year. ever. Let’s make it a record breaking year for Ft. Worth. I do not know what I will do for this walk. Maybe wear an orange tuxedo, or dye my beard orange. Right now I have no idea. But I promise you that I will not give up. I will continue to fight to find a cure for my wife and for you.
Thank you for all that you do. Thank you to Lily and to the amazing staff and volunteers at the MS Society. Thank you to all who have joined us tonight and thank you to all who have fought beside me to find a cure. We. Will. Win!! We. Will. NOT. Be. Beat.
Goodnight.
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