Jesus and his homeboys. Be a friend like that

Not to brag or anything but I currently have 819 Facebook friends. As I allow your shock to subside, I am sure that many of you have at least a thousand or more Facebook friends. We live in a day and age where so many gauge their popularity based on the number of followers that they may have on social media. Even with those many followers people still feel lonely. Why is that? In my opinion, it is because those friends on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are not all true friends. Some of your friends are only your friends after you debated for a long time on if you should even accept their friend request at all. You know the people I am talking about. Some of your friends may be coworkers or church friends or even family. But how many of those friends would you classify as best friends?  

First we should define what a best friend is. I am certain that you can figure it out for yourself, but in case you didn't, Google defines "best friend" as a person's closest friend. A best friend has certain characteristics but I do not think that their is a certain checklist on what makes a person a best friend. If you would like for me to provide you a checklist I most certainly will for five easy payments of $99.99. You have to decide what a best friend means to you. Sure you may have friends that are special friends, and friends whom you can call on if you need a couch moved, but I do not feel a person should bestow the title of best friend on just anyone. You have to earn that title and you have to make people earn that title as well. I have plenty of folks whom I know that I can call on to help me out. I have friends that will pray with me and for me and I have plenty of acquaintances that I can chat with but my best buds are buds that I can be really real with. I mean, really real. These dudes are dudes that I would never play cards with because they know my tell-tale signs. These dudes are steadfast and patient and have been by my side when hell has rained down upon my life. They have encouraged me, prayed with me, and have been brutally honest with me when I start to veer too far off the path. These dudes I can joke with and have fun with. I trust these gents with my life. These three close buds of mine have been around for quite awhile and could share many stories, so I will not share their names in case you search them out to find dirt on me. But it's ok, I'll share my dirt with you if you want because you can learn from my example, even my bad example.

Jesus had many followers, too, during his time on Earth. But he had three best friends. I didn't make this up, by the way. Scripture tells me that John, James, and Peter were three of Jesus' best friends. Luke 8:51-52 and Mark 9:2-3 and just of the many verses . I'll let you look up more scripture because I would hate to enable you or take away the chance for you to open the Bible. These dudes that Jesus hung with were not perfect by any means. I mean, John and James were bickering on who was going to sit at the right hand of Jesus in Heaven. Peter denied even knowing Jesus in order to save his own hide. In fact, he denied Jesus three times! But these dudes also walked with Jesus during some difficult times. John and James even gave up a lucrative job to follow Jesus. I am not telling you to quit your job in order to hang with your best friend, but I am saying that being a best friend takes work. You have to be committed to be a best friend. You have to be willing to answer the phone at 2 a.m. to help your buddy out. You have to be willing to put forth effort in your friendship. Proverbs 18:24 says that there are "friends" that try to destroy each other, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother. 

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have plenty of flaws, but I try to learn from my mistakes and I try to be the best friend that a friend would like to have. 

But what does that mean? Cancer and stuff.

Sometimes I just like to ask "What does that mean?"  I like to say that for cheap laughs sometimes because, really, who doesn't like a cheap laugh from time to time. But lately I have been asking that question on a deeper level. Tomorrow, 3 May 17, will be six months since I had surgery to remove cancer from my kidney. In medical terms it is called a partial left nephrectomy. Before getting kidney stones in August, flying out to say goodbye to my grandfather in September, burying my grandfather in October, finding out about the mass on my kidney in October, and then surgery in November, I was a pretty active guy. The past 6 months I have not been able to be as active but, boy oh boy, I have torn up some blue bell ice cream. Oh, and tacos. Because who doesn't like ice cream or tacos? Heck, they have even made a taco ice cream. The Choco Taco. However, tomorrow I can now concentrate on getting active again and thankfully Moncrief Cancer Institute (https://www.moncrief.com) will help me. God, I pray that the gluten free pounds that I have gained will quickly vanish. Amen.

But what does that mean? It means that taco pounds will be missed. It means that I can begin to get back to being normal. The past six months have not been easy. I have battled depression. I have sought out the professionals to help me. I have battled anxiety and I have battled thoughts of dying and leaving my family behind. I had to battle these thoughts before when my dad died. My dad died when he was 43 years old of an apparent massive heart attack. My goal is to make it past 43 years of age and then some. I have battled trying to be "Jimmy normal" only to hear the voice of the enemy trip me up. But what does that mean? It means that I have tried to do it all myself and I have failed. Ps. I even argued with my wife. GASP! It's true. I'm not perfect.

On May 18th I have my six month CT Scan. I will be completely honest...I am nervous. Really nervous. However, I have a solid group of friends and family that I can lean on. I also know that God has my back no matter the outcome. Here is the truth in that no one makes it off this rock alive, so let's try to have some fun while we can. I have tried, but it has not been easy when I walk around my house like Eor.

If you remember, then please say a prayer for me as I approach my next CT Scan on May 18th. I will find out the results on May 25th.

Cancer homework

  Sometimes in life we just have to acknowledge that we are not strong enough to tackle an issue by ourselves. I am certain that most of you are much better than I am about acknowledging this. It has been two months since my surgery to remove cancer from kidney. I have been handling being a cancer survivor ok, but I also recognize that my thoughts are being held hostage from time to time. it is still weird for me to hear someone call me a cancer survivor. Let me explain what I mean by my thoughts being held hostage before you go freaking out on me. My thoughts are being held hostage by "what if's". What if I did not have a kidney stone to catch the spot on my kidney? What if my six month scan reveals that the cancer has come back? What if I die? What if I lose my medical clearance and can't work to provide for my family? That last one is probably the biggest what if for me.

  Let me be clear, I know that if my life were to be snuffed out today, I would be spending eternity in Heaven with my maker. But that's not what is bothering my thoughts. It's the responsibility that I feel towards my wife and kids. Of course I am in no hurry to die. As Kenny Chesney said in his song, everybody wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to go now. I'll give a big AMEN to that. I know all the church answers. I know to lean on God and give all my doubts to him. I know to pray. But until you actually hear the doctor tell you that you have cancer, you don't really know what I am feeling. You won't know the doubts, fear, and struggles that come with the word cancer. Hence the reason I was given the homework to share my feelings. I could have spoken to my pastor or church members, but most of them would have said what I already know. I needed to seek out someone that has gone through the cancer journey. I needed to seek someone who has struggled with the voices of cancer and could give me the tools needed to overcome them. I needed to seek someone and I did just that.

  We will call my helper my Cancer Comrade. My Cancer Comrade and I met for about an hour and we discussed the journey that has suddenly changed my life. We will have many more discussions in the coming months. My best friends and work buddies and I joke about the fact that I had cancer but I know it's nothing more than a coping mechanism for me. Of course our jokes should not be shared out to normal people so I will just say that I have been able to use cancer as a punch line. Usually I can laugh, negotiate, charm, or sweet talk my way out of most things, but not this. I can't talk my way out of struggling to find my new norm. I feel powerless and that is the key word. Powerless. I am not in control of how my blood flows or the cells in my body. Sure, I can control my diet, my exercising, and what I drink, but that's really much it. I can't control my family history or control life in general. As I tell my kids, life's not fair.

  I was given homework to journal. That's an easy assignment since I find it much easier and much more enjoyable to write instead of talking. That's not to say I can't talk, but that's to say it's easier for me to make a correction in my sentence structure than it is for me to correct the inappropriate thing I just said. But what more can I say about cancer? No matter how much I type or how much I talk, I still seem to struggle to find my new direction. My Comrade can give me tips and I encourage anyone that is struggling to find a Comrade. Sometimes we have to journey alone, but there are times when we do not need to. Wisdom will help you figure out when it's ok to go at it alone and when you need help. There is nothing weak or wrong about asking for guidance.

  I have spent the last 24 hours digging up memories that apparently needed to be addressed. Many of you know my story so I will not bore you with it, but addressing past road blocks may be necessary. Do not dwell on the past but keep looking forward. Why do you think that the windshield in your car is bigger than your rearview mirror? It's because you need to focus on what is in front of you. Your future is much bigger and brighter than the looking at the past through your rearview mirror.

In Him,
Jimmy